by Ruth Scalpone

Created on: June 07, 2009   Last Updated: June 19, 2009

Repeatedly tell the children their parents' divorce is not their fault. If his or her behavior is aggressive or depressed, have a child psychiatrist or psychologist see them. The mental health doctor can encourage the child to talk honestly about anything they need to talk about. They also can determine if depression and suicide threats are serious. The child should be told if the therapist will talk to the parents about what the child said during therapy.

The child psychiatrist or psychologist will listen very carefully to what the child says. If they decide that suicidal ideation is there, he or she will follow their training or experience on treatment for him or her. It may mean hospitalizing the child in a psychiatric hospital for a time, but that could save the child's life. It does not mean the mother or father is a bad parent. It means they recognize their child needs something they can not give him or her right then, and they are willing to help their child.

Associating with other divorced families helps children understand they are not the only ones in the world whose parents are divorced. The families can eat at fast food restaurants or pizza parlors, go to movies together (happy films, not violent ones), go to video arcades, bowling, roller skating, or to another place that is chosen. Movie theaters often have shows during the day that cost less than regular movie tickets. Picnics in parks provide young children with a playground, older children with other kids to talk to or walk around on their own. Since the children are occupied, adults can talk to each other.

Strongly encourage visitation with the non-custodial parent. Be civil to each other during pick-ups or drop-offs of the child.Do not speak badly of your child's other parent. Do not interrogate the kids about the other parent, what they're doing, who they're seeing, or anything else. It really is none of the other parent's business. Do not put the children in the middle by sending messages to each other via the children.

With joint custody, often the children travel from one home to another, seemingly at the whim of their parents. This is difficult, and can be frightening for children, as they do not know what to expect at each house. Their belongings usually stay at one home, whether they are there or not. Each home should have a bedroom for the child.

Learn more about this author, Ruth Scalpone.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.