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Who says women get to hog all the fun when it comes to beauty products? My turn.

I'm a simple guy. I don't really go out of my way to pretty myself up. That said there are a few bodily cleansers I use to make sure that I look relatively spic and span, so as to avoid offending the sensibilities of the people around me. Here's my list of the top five of those cleaners, to help those guys out there who don't know how to keep clean for today's society.

1.) Biore. Whatever, man, it works well. This is probably the only legitimate beautifying product I use. It's great for keeping the face clear of acne and makes your skin feel more, ah, vibrant. I guess. It works best if you've just shaved, though since I don't shave every day I'm not always privy to that glowing feeling.

2.) Shampoo. I can't remember what kind I use. L'Oreal, I think? Needless to say it goes on nice and smells relatively good once I'm done in the shower. Just be sure to rinse thoroughly after you're done. I'd like to say that I follow up with a conditioner, but considering I usually go into a semi-daze whenever I'm in the shower (I love the feeling of water on my back) it's amazing enough that I manage to get the shampoo on my head.

3.) Deodorant. I don't care what brand you use, just use SOMETHING. Especially in the summer. It's amazing how quickly body odor mounts up in hot weather (or even cold, if you wear tons of layers), and when you're in close proximity to a smelly body all you want to do is rip your nose off and send it flying into a trash bin. Please, all you stinky people out there, put on some deodorant. It doesn't even have to be much! A few strokes does wonders!

4.) Soap. Ah, soap. The great cleanser of our age. You can buy as many beautifying products as you want, but few are quite as effective as plain 'ol bars of soap for getting rid of dirt and grime. You feel a thousand times better after going to town on your body with a bar of soap. Just beware the inevitable slippery texture and multiple drops in the shower. I also use soap to shave with when I don't have shaving cream, which is surprisingly often.

5.) Water! Hot, steamy water! Cheap, abundant and readily available, water will clean just about anything off, whether you toss in a bar of soap or not. And while most of you might not consider this elemental force to be beautifying, if you saw me after I came in from a trek through a forest you'd agree that a bucket of water dumped over my head would help considerably. (And I don't care if it's not technically a product. You have to pay for it, therefore it's essentially the same.)

Learn more about this author, Matt Bird.
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