by Elaine Sihera

Created on: June 07, 2009   Last Updated: November 04, 2009

The Age Of Choice and Ambition (26-35 years old)

This is a fascinating age. It offers so much yet can leave a lot of regret and unhappiness in its wake because this period in our emotional evolution brings its own angst of getting older and being conscious of time's ever-moving hand waving us on. This becomes an urgent time for both men and women to ensure that the desire to get settled into a home, the hoped-for high-flying career, the sense of identity and establishment with friends and community, are all gradually taking shape. The original dream of the teens and early 20s now comes under close scrutiny and is evaluated to check progress.

This period (Stage 2 in emotional development) is the one for sorting personal values and deciding what is important in life relating to career, family and interpersonal relationships, this being the time when most people marry or set up home together, start a family and begin their individual occupational journeys. It definitely has gender distinctions too. For example, being reluctant to leave their youth, many men suddenly become tight-lipped about their age, remaining '29' for some years before actually acknowledging that they are over 30! In any self-review, men are more likely than women to emphasise their professional life and to define themselves by it. Work becomes the backbone of their existence as they seek advancement and realisation of their dream. It's a time to assess gains, and perhaps to ask if the gains so far are worth the price.

It's a key time for the master vs. apprentice struggle and for permanent vs. temporary choices; a time when men need reassurance as to whether they have made the right decisions and whether they are running out of time for changing those decisions. Hence this stage is marked by re-thinking and evaluating commitments and connections; establishing a more permanent sense of self, one that aligns more closely to the ideal we wish to become. It also has a focus on whether we really want to make this location, this career path or romantic relationship a permanent one, yet being secretly fearful of the consequences when we finally make that choice.

Order and Stability
Universally, this is a time of self-reflection and pause, a period of relative order and stability when we implement and live the choices made in the young adult transition phase. People now settle down into deeper commitments involving work, family, religion and community ties, etc. They focus on accomplishments,

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