by Denise Wallace

Created on: June 07, 2009   Last Updated: March 09, 2012

Why did my parents abuse me? This is a question I've asked myself most of my life. I have been through years and years of therapy trying to get passed my past and to be able to move on with my life and become the person God intended for me to be.

Even before I believed in God He was watching out for me. When I met my husband, we fell in love almost immediately. I know that God sent him to me to save me from my parents. I made the decision to be with my husband no matter what kind of abuse I was subjected to while still living with my parents. It was the first time in my whole life that I made a decision for myself and stuck with it no matter what the consequences were. I now know that that wasn't my strength, it was God who gave me the strength.

It was a total nightmare. By the time we got married I was down to skin and bones from stress and continued abuse by my parents. My husband stuck by me through it all. He was the first person in the whole world to show me unconditional love. Thankfully a year after we were married we were transferred to the other side of the country, through my husband's work.

Even being thousands of miles away from my parents I still had a lot to try to get over. Abuse can be debilitating. I was damaged goods for so long. The thought that continually went through my mind was if your own parents don't love you, what kind of loser must you be?

When we found out we were pregnant with our first child I was scared to death. What could I possibly give to another person who would need me so much? I was still so damaged. I felt so unqualified, to say the least. When I gave birth, I was immediately so in love with my new little boy. I knew right then and there that I would do anything, absolutely anything to protect him from EVERYTHING.

I wish I could say that I was healed after becoming a mother but I wasn't. I still had a lot to go through. More therapy, severe depression, alcohol abuse, a suicide attempt and so much more. My amazing husband stuck by me through everything. Why? I really don't know. Unconditional love? God's grace?

We went on to have three more children. I still struggled with many, many things. But the one thing that always remained a constant in my life was my love for my amazing husband, the breathtaking love for my 4 children and my love for my God. (I gave my life to my God in 1997.) Then one day the scripture Romans 8:28 hit me so hard. I had read this scripture many, many times but this particular day it blew me away:

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