by Samantha J. Adkins

Created on: June 06, 2009   Last Updated: June 08, 2009

When Phil and I announced our engagement to my family, my father took the opportunity to test my fianc. My dad walked over to Phil, took Phil's hand in his and held it as he would hold a little boy's hand to guide him across the street. I was both horrified and hysterical with laughter. I come from a long line of tricksters and I wondered if my new fianc would put up with the joke. Luckily, Phil bore my father's antics and even let us snap a photo of the occasion which, twelve years later, has become a treasured memory in our family. While my father certainly wasn't a typical matchmaker in the tradition of Fiddler on the Roof or anything, he was integral in bringing my husband and I together, a kind of anti-matchmaker.

My Dad and I have always been close. Family members and friends often point out our similarities in personality and appearance. Both of us are introverts who occasionally love to be the center of attention as we share a humorous story. We love hiking, reading and writing. Family get-togethers usually consist of side-splitting laughter and word games. As the eldest daughter of two in our family, I was the one to break my father into the idea of a little girl growing up, first dating and then marriage.

Phil and I began dating after two months of spending a lot of time together. He was an associate pastor at our church and we both wondered at first if it was appropriate for us to date, especially as I was only nineteen at the time. I think we both sensed our relationship would become serious quickly and we wanted to make sure we had the blessings of our families and members of the church. Phil asked the senior pastor for his advice and was given approval. Phil also asked my father for permission to date me. This was a great first step, although my mother was slightly offended that her permission was not sought. To make up for this mistake later on, Phil asked my Mom for permission to marry me and showed her the engagement ring first. Mom forgave his earlier ignorance.

After dating for two months, I decided I could not continue with my studies in journalism. I had struggled all year with becoming a tough-nosed newswoman and dating Phil was the impetus I needed to quit journalism and enroll in professional writing. However, my Dad saw this move as a threat to my relationship and my future.

"Sam, men don't like to feel trapped by women. Don't quit school to stay with Phil." Although I was embarrassed, I think in retrospect

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