by Celine Araujo

Created on: June 06, 2009   Last Updated: June 19, 2009

Being a person whose parents are divorced, I understand what children dealing with divorce have to go through. The divorce of their parents is obviously a trying time for the child, but there are some simple things you can do to help them acclimatize to their new life as swiftly and painlessly as possible, and ensure that in the major changes occurring, the child's emotional needs are not neglected. Whether you are the parent, friend, relative, or family friend of the child, these tips are for you.

Make Yourself Available: The child is going through some complex and frustrating emotions, and will definitely need someone to talk through these issues with. Take the child aside and tell them sincerely that if they have anything they wish to talk to you about; you are willing to listen. Don't Force Them To Talk: Although you should definitely make your time and support available to the child, don't try to sit them down and make them talk about it, particularly if you are the parent. Everyone deals with problems in their own way and at their own pace, and the child may want to talk right away or months later. Either way, the key is to be available but not nagging. Get Them Out of the House: During a time of divorce, probably one of the last places a child wants to be is at their house. If you are the parent, let them go out with friends, etc. You can also take them out yourself and do an activity they enjoy. Monitor Them: Although sadness and anger are to be expected, look out for signs of depression which can include: loss of interest in school, friends, or extra curricular activities, chronic fatigue, plummeting grades, broken friendships, excessive time spent on technology, and a general withdrawal from their surroundings. If these symptoms are present, be sure to talk to the child and possibly recommend counselling if they don't wish to speak to you or you are unable to offer them the help they require. Be Patient: During such a trying time some display of distress is common, and if they freak out about the milk bag being empty or a three-year-old has begun having constant temper tantrums, be calm and patient when dealing with them. The divorce, combined with other factors like school, friends and crushes, can be overwhelming for the child and result in lashing out, even over small things.

The basic thing to remember if you want to help a child of any age dealing with divorce is this: offer your support. If their problems are serious and you are not able to give them the assistance they need, to not hesitate to try counselling, whether one-on-one or as a family. A divorce is a trying and emotionally draining time for all involved, children included. The best thing you can do is to keep a close eye and a steady guiding hand on the child to ensure that they adjust to their new life well and can grow up to become loving, caring, and emotionally open people.

Learn more about this author, Celine Araujo.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.