by Rebecca Williams

Created on: June 06, 2009

My life is not my own. I am me, but I am not mine. I am a slave, but it is a slavery I chose. I am quite willing to serve such a Master even unto death.

Besides, the alternative is a type of death and a slavery to an unkind master. This master may pretend a type of kindness for a time, but in the end wishes only for more souls to suffer with him in eternal fire and darkness.

When I say I have no time, it is true. All of my time is God's. Everything I am, all I do, is or should be devoted to His service, omnia ad maiorem Dei gloriam. He is my Master, and I am His slave.

Naturally, I am a rebellious slave. There is a part of me that wishes for nothing more than this slavery. I do dearly love my Lord Jesus Christ, but it is most difficult to discipline myself. It is so hard to remember who I should be. It is not an easy task to keep the Faith in this age of persecution. My circle of friends is not the best group of people to help. I dangerously toe the line with several Commandments. I am close, very close, very often, to breaking an oath I have taken. I am not a very good slave, but I cannot, will not give up.

There is more to being Catholic than this total submission to Christ, more than this abandonment, this slavery of heart, soul, and mind. As I am still inhabiting my physical body, I am a member of the Church Militant. As St. Pius XII said, "We belong to the Church militant; and She is militant because on earth the powers of darkness are ever restless to encompass Her destruction." To me, being Catholic requires an active duty in this Holy Military.

I want very much to increase the fold, to help towards the one flock for the One Shepherd. I want to share the wonders of slavery to He Who Is. To do this, I try to combat everything that goes against the teaching of the Church, while not neglecting my own spiritual growth, but I find that too many battles exist for me to fight them all. Heresies crop up all around me, and I cannot chop each one, for I am far too young and unlearned. I must choose carefully. I find myself surrounded by enemies, often even in places that should be sanctuary. Hell is attacking any which way it can, and I would fear for the safety of the Church did I not believe my Master, who told me that "the gates of Hell would not prevail against it."

I am afraid, however, for many souls will be lost. I do not fear for myself, for I trust in Jesus to care for me.

I will do what I can. If I suffer for serving my Jesus, so much the better!

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