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No one wants to be the parent in the restaurant or at the store with the obnoxious child whom everyone else rolls their eyes at. But how can one avoid this situation in the first place? Is there a magical way to stop a toddler tantrum? Not exactly. But there are some concrete, realistic ways to prevent a tantrum from even starting. Consistency is key, and careful planning is a means to a peaceful end.

Be Consistent

OK, ok, so I know you here this all the time when it comes to parenting. But it really is the one truest thing that can help anyone have well behaved children. Even very young toddlers are adept at figuring out when mommy means it, and when some tears and breath holding will get the job done! Consistency will result in your smart lil'guy (or girl of course) knowing that those tantrum techniques just won't work with his, even smarter, parents. You are the parent, you have the control, so when you say no to something, stick to it, and here's the tough part, EVERY TIME!

There are many reasons why this can be tough. Sometimes we quickly say no to something only to realize a short time later that perhaps we overreacted. Or maybe our most wonderful and loving spouse was there to remind us how we overreacted. Either way it is easy to then decide to give in. This is where the mistake is made. Once you say no, you've just got to stick with it. I think of it like this, if my toddler asked me for a sip of beer I would say no. No amount of whining, breath holding, hitting himself, crying, or screaming would get me to change my mind. So anytime I decide to say no to something, I think of it as a can of beer. There is no way my son is getting it once I say no.

Of course this comes with a new challenge, learning to say yes more often. It is so easy just to say no all the time, "No you can't have candy." "No, we are not going to watch TV right now." "No you may not go jump in that giant puddle." But constant no's won't help the tantrum situation either. Your kids are likely to get tired of hearing that word and of being told what they can't do. So once you have learned to be true to your no's, you've got to learn to say yes, at least some of the time. In this way your child will learn that 'although mommy does not want me to get all messy by jumping in the puddles right now, she is likely to let me do it at another time.' Your no's will be understood, rather than arbitrary and so easier for your toddler to accept.

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