by Barbara FeliceHowarth

Created on: June 06, 2009

"Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all" Alfred Lord Tennyson, 1850. Who would of thought that a line from a poem written so long ago would still hold the power that it did when it was originally written. Love is a beautiful feeling as well one of the most important staples in our lifetime. Sometimes love can be misinterpreted, abused, confusing and just plain crazy but most of us long for it because of the benefits it brings to our lives, while others stay as far away from love as they possibly can. Why is that? Why would someone choose not to love, what are they afraid of?

One reason why some may be afraid to love is because they don't think they know how to love. I say "don't think" because I believe everyone has love in their heart one way or another. The problem is not knowing how to display this hard affection. Some people did not get hugs,kisses and encouragement from their parents. We all assume that everybody got the same proper nurturing and support as we did growing up but this simply is not true. If a person finds it hard to show affection or trust another human then they are apt not to love. Learning to love is like any other rite of passage, it needs to be taught by someone who loves you or you'll fear it for not knowing. This person could start by getting a pet. Learning to love a pet can give you strength and confidence. There is nothing like getting unconditional love from an animal. It can bring such joy to your life.

Loss is another reason why some are afraid to love. If you experience great loss from loved ones in your younger years, perhaps an accident that you only survive, you might be afraid to love for fear of losing them and having to experience that grief and loss all over again bringing up old wounds that never quite healed. This one is challenging but can be overcome by the support of close friends or therapy. People need to understand that we all pass sooner or later and the most important thing is to live for the moment instead of worrying about what might happen. Love today in case tomorrow never comes.

Loss of identity is another reason why some people may be afraid to love. Especially women. A woman, more often back in the day, went from being a daughter to a wife and finally to a mother. Some women feel they will lose their identity if they love a man, get married and have children. They want to be known for them self, not just the daughter of , wife of or the mother of. What they don't often realize in this day and age; it is possible to keep your own identity in this situation. Even if you choose to not to work while parenting, you can use the Internet as an avenue to find who you are and keep your own identity.

No matter what the fear of loving another may be, it can be cured. Everyone needs love in their life whether its a relationship, friend or pet. Without love, a big piece of your puzzle is missing and needs to be put in place to complete your life.

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