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How to handle a long-distance relationship

by Carole Ligi

My husband and I had a long distance relationship for over six months. We were dating at the time and both of us worked for the government. He was sent on an assignment over 1000 miles away. This was one of those assignments that was supposed to be completed any day now. It was also the type of assignment where he was working many long hours so it would be senseless for me to go to visit as I would not be able to see him anyway.

We were at the stage of either we were going to become serious about our relationship or we were going to go our separate ways. We were unsure when he left about where either one of us stood with the other. We made a vow to keep in touch on a regular basis while he was gone. It was not always easy to keep in touch daily, but we tried.

What kept our relationship going in that time period was communication and understanding about the particular requirements of each other's jobs. We talked as often as possible and reaffirmed that we knew we had something special and wanted this relationship to work. We also made a commitment to not date anyone else while he was gone. If we were serious about making this relationship work then we had to be committed solely to each other. I was asked out on dates, but chose to decline them as I kept my word about remaining faithful. I had to trust and assume that my husband kept his word as well. To this date we never have discussed about whether each other was faithful or not.

If his assignment had continued much longer then some serious decisions had to be made. I had a good stable job with a steady income so I was not prepared to move to where he was assigned. And this was not a permanent assignment so he would be returning.

Since this assignment was temporary we were able to make a commitment to each other and make it work. If he had been permanently reassigned, which was a possibility, we would have had to decide if either one of us was going to make a move in cities and careers. We would not be married today if he had not returned to my area. We would have probably gone our separate ways and been distant friends.

You can make a long distance relationship work if there is communication, understanding what each other expects, trust and it not be a permanent situation. People have to move forward in life and long distance associations make it easier to stay in a safe, though potentially unfulfilled relationship.

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