by Connie Francisco

Created on: June 06, 2009   Last Updated: June 07, 2009

Soap operas validate co-dependency. A large proportion of the viewing public are involved in dysfunctional family systems, in which "looking" right is more important than truth, or than real, personal integrity. Therefore, the lies, deceptions, and "deep dark secrets" that drive the plots of soaps seem not only acceptable to their relationship-dependent viewers, but might be viewed as acts of love. Soap operas twist love and romance into something mysterious and ugly. People involved in dysfunctional relationship systems can relate to that.

The characters on these shows are often depicted as glamorous. Thus, they glamorize the illnesses suffered by the viewers. That is the very same reason why those who value truth and personal integrity hate soap operas so passionately.

The fact that the stories go on and on, never really resolving anything, is also a symptom. Those who get caught up in them can relax in the notion that they do not need to take honest, courageous action to resolve their real-life problems... why should they? Their heroes and heroines never do. They just lie and cover up the truth. Easier.

In my experience, those who get into soaps (as my grandmother and mother did, but thankfully, my mother has experienced some healing and is no longer addicted) would rather wallow in depression than take decisive action to solve their problems once and for all. Indeed, the fans do get a vicarious cathartic experience, since the problems on the shows are larger than life, making their own existence seem stable and peaceful by comparison. But I've also noticed healthier persons afflicted by the shows becoming frustrated enough to finally scream, "Just tell the truth!", at the screen (right before they hit the remote and watch something, anything else... or turn the set off in disgust and go bake cookies or whatever, anything positive and empowering).

Many people see soap operas as escapist. That may be true, but what could entice a person to escape into a never-ending shadow world, where problems are never really satisfactorily and permanently resolved, and lies and deception rule the day, literally for years at a time? In a real romance story, the "happy ending" remains happy (ever after). Even in film noir, dark as it is, some kind of resolution is reached. Once the flawed hero falls, he usually dies, and stays dead... his troubles are over. In a soap, however, they have to resurrect him, just to torture him further! I guess some viewers just can't get enough of watching their heroes and heroines suffer.

Co-dependency is an addiction. Small wonder that soap operas are so addictive, since relationship addiction is what they glorify day after day. The popularity of soap operas is a good indicator of the sickness of society in general. These folks need counseling, not "candy" to feed their addiction. But considering the advertising dollars brought in by playing on yet another of our culture's ills, I doubt that will ever happen. Misery loves company, and in the case of the soap opera, it also makes good money.

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