by Laura Lee Winger

Created on: June 06, 2009   Last Updated: June 07, 2009

Following the advice of Chicago Tribune columnist Mary Schmich, whose words became the lyrics to a famous graduation song, were written in Hallmark books, and were wrongly credited to author Kurt Vonnegut in an urban myth, I, too, would like to write my "Guide to Life for Graduates."

I often get asked how I "do it all", and told that I can accomplish "anything". Indeed, I feel I live an admirable, exciting life, full of accomplishments, adventures and realized aspirations. I like to believe that leading by example would help those who admire my life. Yet people all around me border on depression and misery for how their lives have turned out, how they can't do anything, and how they are stuck. Writing this has been highly therapeutic for me, but my hope is that it will help someone else as well.

To the class of 2009:

Congratulations on your achievements that have brought you to where you are today, and good luck on your future endeavors. Scratch that last part, luck only has so much to do with it, and wishing you luck has even less impact. Hope and wishful thinking are polite sentiments, and without action, are nothing more. Nevertheless, you will have future endeavors, and I challenge you to tackle them with everything you have in you, at least when you believe they are worth your all.

Set goals, make a life list, and create agendas. Stretch your imagination in doing so; leave nothing out because it's too big, too silly, or too unlikely. Don't be afraid of attempting the impossible, or of failing, you only stand to learn from them.

Work towards your goals and regularly seek opportunities to fulfill them. Advertise your goals to your friends, your family, your colleagues, your co-workers and people you've just met. You never know when someone might help you accomplish a goal.

Learn to defend yourself, physically with martial arts and intellectually in conversation. Fight fairly in arguments, fight unfairly when your life depends on it.

Take responsibility for your life and don't be a victim. Things will happen, some things will be out of your control, but if you own up to them, even when its unfair, you can take a commanding position. Blaming other people and blaming circumstances only admits weakness.

There will be stressful days, financial hardships, heartbreaks, trips to the ER, and bad news. Let yourself deal with them however you need; venting, writing, punching pillows, crying, whatever. Just know that it

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