by Dee Cain

Created on: June 06, 2009   Last Updated: May 27, 2010

Divorce is a trying time for everyone,especially children who may not understand why their parents are no longer living in the same house. The parents have an added responsibility to find common ground when dealing with adult personal issues without exhibiting volatile behavior toward their former spouse when in the presence of their children. While this is not always easy to do, remembering the relationship between the child and the ex-spouse is exactly that, their relationship. Never put the ex-spouse down or call them derogatory names in front of the child. This could lead to the child blaming the remaining parent for the ex-spouse leaving. The remaining parent may find themselves on the receiving end of being called those exact words by the child

Children may become fearful that the remaining parent will also leave. Thus, the remaining parent may deal with separation anxiety behavior with the child/children. There are exercises a parent may try to reassure the child they will always return. Enroll the child in a class they would be interested in. Assure the child you will return at a specific time and be at the class a few minutes ahead of schedule to pick them up. This reassures the child by building trust in the fact that you will return when you say you will.

Plan day trips to share with the child. These excursions need not be elaborate or bank breaking. A trip to the zoo or museum that fits the child's age. This allows the child to see they can have fun with only one parent. Take the opportunity to get to know the child. Find out their likes and dislikes then allow them to help in the planning of the next excursion. Besides learning about the child, these excursions let the child get to know their parent during a one on one level.

If the children are older involve them in planning a vacation. Choose a destination that suits the family. Let them help with the budgeting for gasoline, food and entertainment as well as where the family will stay. Try something different with the older children, if staying in a hotel was the place the family stayed when the parents were together, then suggest camping or renting an RV. By changing a family vacation from the norm, the parent will be building a new bond with the children which will exclude having to have two parents to enjoy a vacation. Involving the children in all aspects of this vacation let's them know their opinion counts and they have an idea of what they can and cannot do because of finances. It will

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