21 hours old."

32. Speak quickly.

If you say something fast enough, it will fly over people's heads, probably leaving an impression of smartness.

31. Communicate clearly.

Naturally, it is best to reserve this for moments when you actually have a point to communicate.

30. Never use one syllable when 3 are available.

For example, instead of saying "yes", say "affirmative".

29. Know the Dewey decibel system.

For a beginning, the 700's are art. Sports are in the 790's.

28. Randomness is key.

This gives the illusion that your thought patterns are much quicker.

27. Never act startled or scared.

There is nothing unexpected to one of great intelligence.

26. Never, ever say "ooo".

This is a sign that you are impressed. If you are smart enough, very little will impress you, and when such a rare occasion finally arrives, you will have greater words to convey that awe, not reverting to your animal form of communication with grunts.

25. Be literal.

"Where do you wish me to take this seat?"

24. Never run.

You are smart enough to know that running is unnecessary and measured steps are all that is required.

23. Have an extensive collection of books.

It is better to have read them, but simply to own a large number of books makes one see well-read (and therefore, as previously stated, smart).

22. Know classic literature.

It cannot be overemphasized that intelligent people have done a lot of reading.

21. Know classic cinema.

This goes along with knowing literature, especially as much classic cinema is based on classic literature. Just be careful not to mistake a book for a movie of the same title or vise versa.

20. Know history.

Knowledge is often mistaken for intelligence. The easiest way to appear smart is by knowing many, many things. Also, history is useful knowledge for those in positions of power.

19. Know video game allusions.

If you seem smart, other smart people will want to be around you, and they may well be avid gamers. It is well to have some common ground on this level, as well, although the smile and nod method is usually effective.

18. Know current allusions.

Again, knowledge equals an appearance of smarts. Knowing exactly what is happening in other countries means you look intelligent.

17. Go about bareheaded.

This may be a little silly, but it seems as though the smartest members of society are also the most eccentric and given to poor care of self. Refusing to wear a hat when the

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