of great intelligence. High grades lead to tassels at graduation.

70. Seem to be lost in a trance often.

This is another way to look as though much more is going on upstairs than in visible or audible.

69. Suddenly pound the table and say "And that settles that!"

This works best in combination with the previous tip.

68. Refuse to explain yourself.

Instead, mumble and write furiously or smile smugly to yourself.

67. Make your explanation not seem to explain.

As Gandalf said in The Hobbit, he went away "looking ahead" and saw that he was needed "looking behind".

66. Do NOT imitate Homestar Runner.

The main character of homestarrunner.com is to be imitated only at the peril of your new-found intellectual appearance.

65. Carry a pocket dictionary.

This is also effective for throwing at those with small vocabularies.

64. Know exact dictionary definitions.

"Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilic ovolcanonoisis: a pneumocosis caused by the inhalation of quartz dust."

63. Be able to recite the longest Psalm.

This is either Psalm 118 or 119, depending on the translation. Not up to the 176-verse challenge? Check out the shortest chapter in the Bible, just two psalms previous.

62. Always dress neatly.

Alternatively, you could dress as though you have much better things than clothes on your mind.

61. Avoid flashy clothes.

Dressing to blind is for those who have no other good qualities.

60. Appear fascinated by lectures.

On the other hand, sleeping through a lecture that you later say "seemed like review" could boost your apparent level of brilliance.

59. It's not a palm-pilot; it's a hand-held organizational device.

You are not a nerd; you are a genius. Fools do not understand these long terms.

58. Don't use abbreviations in speech.

This goes hand-in-hand with the next tip.

57. Don't use acronyms in speech.

Imagine the jaw-dropping effect of saying "Light Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation" instead of just "laser" or "Deoxyribonucleic Acid" instead of just "DNA".

56. Be fluent in internet abbreviations/acronyms.

Just don't use them IRL.

55. Use perfect grammar.

This is perhaps the hardest thing to do, as grammar rules can be really confusing. On the other hand, there is a convenient and widely accepted excuse for failing in this area: "I'm a SCIENTIST!"

54. Use perfect punctuation.

This should be easier than the grammar thing. However, the excuse is still applicable.

53. Use

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