by Rebecca Williams

Created on: June 06, 2009   Last Updated: June 07, 2009

So you want to be smart, admired by your peers, fawned on by your superiors. Well, here is the definitive list of exactly how to acquire a reputation for brilliance, whether it is well-deserved or not.

101. Wear glasses.

It may seem silly, but glasses are assumed to be a sign of intelligence. Use this assumption to your advantage.

100. Use largely unknown words.

It doesn't matter who you are, if you can call out a word in the classroom that the teacher doesn't know, you will seem well-read and therefore brilliant.

99. Recite long pieces of poetry.

This works especially well with well-known poetry. It probably will not help your attempts to maintain a genius reputation if you stand up and begin to recite the three-page ode to someone's armpit that you found hand-written and carelessly tossed in the trash.

98. Speak a foreign language.

The fun part about this is that it really makes little difference which foreign language you choose. If you start swearing in Spanish or gossiping in German, your assumed IQ will jump.

97. Yell "E = MC!"

This isn't the best way to appear intelligent, as practically everybody knows it. But if the context is correct, you will seem like another Einstein.

96. Yell "C = wavelength x frequency!"

Actually, any formula from physics or any discipline will do; some are merely easier to memorize and vocalize. Again, appearance of intelligence is the goal.

95. Say something nobody understands.

This goes hand in hand with the last one. If you say something utterly incomprehensible that sounds like it conveys meaning to those who are well-learned, you will seem well-learned.

94. Avoid stating your intelligence level.

We are emphasizing that you seem intelligent. It would be unintelligent to outright lie, as you may easily be found out. However, if you act modest and shy about how smart you are, people will tend to assume that you do not want to embarrass them, especially if you are following the other tips well.

93. Say your IQ could not be calculated.

This statement is wonderful in its ambiguity.

92. Make allusions nobody knows.

"If you'll remember the character of Elbow, and how he taught us - oh, I'm sorry, have you not read that Shakespearean play?"

91. Make allusions to the oldest stories.

Think before Shakespeare. Roman and Greek mythology is good, but Finnish is even better, as it is more obscure.

90. Muse quietly to yourself.

Remember, intelligent people have enough going

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