by Simon Wright

Created on: June 05, 2009

Once upon a long ago

Once upon a long ago

In a far away that we all know

Lived a big big bad of stories old

Who'd suck your blood and steal your soul.

-

But times are not now as they were

Nor maidens sadly quite as fair

Mobs, once vicious, now lack style

And knights of old are all too rare.

-

"So bored I am!" cries creature foul

"It's hard sometimes to fake a scowl

Hell, I had a lass last week tied up with tape

Who didn't even seek to escape!

She said my dungeon was, "well cool"

To tell the truth, I just don't know what to do?!"

-

"That's okay sir, I'm here to help

These days the kids want real street cred

You better lose those horns and cape

They really are quite out of date."

-

"To be a baddie these days, sir

Why not try a nice coat made out of fur?

Wear a T-shirt that says "I eat meat"

And wear croc leather upon your feet."

-

"Or maybe you'd like to be hip?

Get a piercing sir right on your .... lip

Ditch the leathers too, they're so not "it"

I suggest stretched jeans that don't quite fit."

-

"With this image altered, I'm quite sure

You'll have rediscovered your allure

More frightening than the bogey man

The most feared evil in the land!"

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