by eburburan

Created on: June 05, 2009

Being a Spoon Isn't Easy

Damn it, remove this foul odorous gunk from my body; and get it off me now. Twenty spoons in the tray and every time without fail it's always me she grabs when the time comes to feed the cat. You think I relish reeking like rancid tuna.

The entire day spent in the sink, my nasal passages clogged by this foul smelling fish aroma, I can't take this anymore. The other spoons, they have all the luck, coffee, tea even cereal isn't all that bad. I can even handle the squashed carrot baby food however this stuff though makes me wretch.

You'd think she would at least have some decency and give me a quick rinse. That woman is always running off somewhere in a tizzy. The other spoons and forks race to the far side of the basin as soon as the water rises. Hell I can't say I blame them.

Looks like its getting dark outside. I hear a creaking sound. Could it be burglars? Oh no it's worse; it's Igor that dreaded cat.

A meaner more sadistic creature surely doesn't exist on earth. I'd sure like to stick a fork into that useless ball of fluff. Dumb ass couldn't catch a mouse if his life depended on it. He wastes his whole day chasing and tormenting cockroaches. Catches them, tears off a leg; then waits till they try to get away, repeating the process over and over. Tell you what; I'd like to lock him in a room full of wide screen televisions showing 50's type B movies. You know the ones with the giant marauding insects. Scare the crap out of that little fuzz ball.

O isn't this just wonderful, that feline monstrosity is slowly approaching. The beast is now hovering over me. Go away, Go away, Stop It.

The evil creature unfortunately sees that yours truly is caught in the disposal drain with only my head sticking out. That contemptible being thinks spoon mutilation is entertaining. You may not know this but cats have senses that humans simply don't possess. Felines unlike people are aware that inanimate objects do in fact have consciousness.

I'll never forget the cold ugly stare melding into that Cheshire grin. I thought he was politely waving to me when he quietly raised his right paw. Then Bam, he smacked it hard upon the disposal switch. Oh the pain and that screeching noise. The cold hard blades slicing into my handle. I let out a blood curdling scream before everything went black. Fortunately mom arrived in the nick of time or I wouldn't be here to narrate this

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