by Maggie Miller

Created on: June 05, 2009

When we hear people talking about "abusive relationships", most of us immediately picture bruised arms or battered women, associating the word "abuse" with physical mistreatment. But abuse comes in many forms, and verbal abuse delivers emotional wounds that can be equally painful and equally permanent. It's also more difficult to recognize and label verbal abuse because oftentimes it goes unnoticed or disguised as sarcasm or humor.

"Toxic" is a perfect way to describe any kind of relationship (friendship, spouse, familial) where one partner exacts verbal torment on another. When you have a toxic relationship with someone, you actually feel as if there's something poisonous festering within you. Maybe you're not sure why, or you can't pinpoint the spot, but something just feels venomous when you're around that person. And while the simple answer would be to walk away, we all know how incredibly difficult it is to walk away from someone who means a lot to us.

I have a handful of friends, and I surround myself with them because they're positive people and they make me feel good. We help each other out, and we have a lot of fun together. I've known one of my best friends since high school, and we even lived together at college. Our friendship hit the rocks for a plethora of reasons: I hooked up with her brother, she dated someone I'd once had unreciprocated feelings for, she shoved me into the street while in a drunken stupor, I "lied" to her. But the friendship persevered because we had more good times than bad, and we worked out most of our sour spots. We got along perfectly and had similar ambitions. But beneath it all, she seemed to harbor negative feelings toward me.

I know I have a negative outlook when it comes to men and my future, and it's something I'm trying to work on. I also know when I'm wrong and I have no trouble admitting it to a friend that I've slighted. I've recently discovered that she tells people, specifically her family and friends, about how negative I am and what a liar I am. Last year she told her brother, who was dating me at the time, that I was nothing but a liar. Luckily for me, he dismissed her theories as crazy and judged for himself. I tried to forgive her for these things, but the other night, it all came out again.

When I refused to drive her brother's friend home in my car (this friend is an angry drunk, threw a brick through her brother's windshield, and would have put my car total to 6 people...therefore leaving 4 without

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