by Barbara Webber

Created on: June 05, 2009   Last Updated: June 08, 2009

So you want to have a baby. Have you stopped to ask yourself why? Few women ever stop to think about why they want to have a baby. Many people become parents everyday for all the wrong reasons. When this happens, everyone suffers, from the unprepared parents to the innocent child. So what are the wrong reasons to have a baby? There are many, here are a few.

~To Save a Relationship

This is possibly the biggest misconception about parenting that there is. A baby is not a way to bring a struggling couple closer together. Yes, it is true that mother and father will share a love for this new child, but it will not re-create what is broken in your relationship to begin with. A baby is stressful and even the most prepared couples are often caught off guard by the new challenges parenthood brings. People are much more likely to snap at each other when they are exhausted, frustrated, and confused. This is exactly how most couples spend the first several weeks of a new baby's life. If your relationship is in trouble, a baby can only make things harder.

There is another reason not to have a baby to save a relationship. An unstable relationship is no place for a baby. Babies and children learn about love and trust through watching their parents. If your new little bundle is subject to arguments and tears, what will he learn about relationships? Not to mention, if the relationship ends in a split, you will be putting your child through much undue stress. And how do think he is likely to feel later in life, when he realizes that he was meant to save his parent's relationship, but failed? Get your relationship on track first, your future baby will be much happier, and you will too.

~ Because you are Lonely

We all need somebody to love, right? Maybe so, but if you're having a baby because you want to have someone in your life to love, and who loves you unconditionally, think again. In a baby's first few weeks of life, he truly has no capacity for love. He is completely selfish and spending everyday, learning about the world around him. He is selfish and needy and completely depended on you for every little thing. You will barley sleep. You will feel overwhelmed. You will have moments where you think horrible thoughts. You will have new worry, new responsibility, and new anxiety. These are all completely normal feelings for any new mom, but for one who was expecting instant love and devotion, these feelings can be multiplied. This disillusionment can lead to all kinds

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