There is an archetypal woman who is a cross between Mary Poppins and Martha Stewart. She has a perfect home, perfect children with perfect manners, teeth and education, a perfect husband, holds down a meaningful job, does voluntary work and bakes cakes for the local sports team, and visits the sick and elderly on Sundays whilst looking like she just stepped off a Paris catwalk. This woman, as most of us know in our hearts, is a myth.

No one can be perfect at everything all at once. Some people can achieve perfection in some areas of their lives, but most settle for the best they can do. Being good at something on the other hand, while being totally subjective, is possible.

How do we define a "good mother"? It means different things to different people, particularly based on their experiences of their own mothers. Some say that a Good Mother always puts her children first. However that can lead to a very tired mother who then becomes short tempered or sick, with selfish and over-indulged children. Perhaps a Good Mother is one who doesn't work and stays home baking and doing crafts; but this mother is often the one who is divorced by her husband when the kids are full grown and realises that she has no idea how to talk to adults anymore, let alone get a job to support herself. Would a Good Mother be one whose children are always neatly turned out and smelling like fresh laundry? Perhaps, unless that mother becomes obsessive to the point that either her children fear her wrath if they so much as look at a puddle, or develop their own set of neurotic behaviours themselves.

Children are children, and the best mothers know this. Mothers who take care of the basics such as clean clothes, a safe place to sleep, food to eat and toys to play with are Good Mothers. Women who remember to take some time out for themselves so they can stop being Mom just for a few hours a week, make the best mothers; they are people in their own right with opinions and interests that encourage their children to explore and expand their minds, and also keep their husbands from wandering off elsewhere. Good Mothers also know when to call it a day in a relationship, before the hostility effects their children.

Good Mothers get down on their knees to play with their children, on the carpet, in the sand, on the grass or in the doctor's waiting room. Good Mothers know that a child will not starve itself, and do not give in to food fads by offering chocolate or doughnuts. Good Mothers stick to their guns, they are firm but very fair. Good Mothers have the best laps for stories, the best arms for sleep and the best kisses for scraped knees. Good Mothers wave their teens off to college, and then complain about all the laundry that comes home again, while doing it all anyway.

Good Mothers are Great Women.

Learn more about this author, Silva Payne.
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