Considering fast food restaurants are already at the bottom of the food price chain, you'd like to think people would put up with the cost of a burger with good grace.

But not me. I like to get as much food as I can without having to spend much. As such whenever I got to a fast food restaurant I employ a variety of methods to ensure I leave with a full belly and a fat wallet. Here are just a few methods you can use to enjoy similar success.

1.) Buy the cheapest items on the menu. Go for lots and lots of fries, if you can, as they're usually near the bottom when it comes to expense. Then load them down with whatever free condiments you can get.

2.) Only go to restaurants that offer free refills on your drink. Take constant advantage of this - perhaps to an unfair extent. Then be sure to bring your cup with you every time you return so you can get refills without paying. (I'm kidding. Don't do this. You'll get booted.)

3.) Lacking funds for an actual soft drink, get water. Not the bottled kind, just some water in a cup. It's usually free, and you'll get the added benefit of annoying the workers - especially if water is ALL you order.

4.) Go with friends. Lots of friends. Then bum food off each their plates or wrappers. Steal as much as you can. If possible, ask that everybody pool their orders together, and pay jointly, and share everything; then get as cheap an item as you can (small fries works good) and take advantage of their food while hording your own.

5.) Check the trash. Lots of perfectly good leftovers get shovelled in there.

6.) Check vacant tables for scraps. You'd be surprised how lazy some people are with their garbage - not to mention how much food they leave behind. I can guarantee you that the restaurant's workers won't mind you cleaning up for them, though don't expect them to come near you any time soon.

7.) Eat condiment packages. They're pretty much always free, and so long as you can avoid gagging on what you've put in your mouth you'll probably fill up somehow.

8.) Use the drive-thru. Get as much food as you can, drive up to the window, grab your food, go to get you wallet out and then flee for the hills as quickly as possible. Note that this is only usable once per restaurant per year, as any more often will make you into an outlaw. (No, you can't do this either.)

9.) Steal from other tables as you walk by. Make sure their occupants are engaged in conversation. This works especially good in food courts where there are big crowds. Just blend into the passers-by and vanish, like the chameleon. (Do I even need to say it?)

10.) Don't get fast food in the first place. It's bad for you. Go buy an apple or something, it's cheaper and has actual nutritional value.

Learn more about this author, Matt Bird.
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