by Darcey Lee

Created on: June 05, 2009

Controlling parents is not easy to deal with but it can be done.

There are different reasons parents are controlling. Sometimes it is because it is that they truly care and sometimes it is because they have a controlling nature from the upbringing they had themselves.

There are also different effects controlling parents can have on their child.

Dealing with controlling parents: on the positive side.

If you feel your parents are too controlling because they want to know everything you do, who you talk to, where you are going, why you are going there and they constantly call you when you are out with your friends.

The positives side of this is, deep down the only reason is because they care and love you. They probably do not mean to make you feel controlled on purpose. They are looking out for your best interest, want to see no harm come to you and in general care about who you hang out with because they do not want to see you influenced in a negative manner.

How to deal with the positive type of controlling parents:

Do not fight it. When you fight against what they want to know it usually makes matters worse. Parents will often feel you are hiding something which in return only makes them more controlling. Although you feel you are old enough to know better and look after yourself, it is a parents' roll to make sure you are looked after and safe. Just take a breath and remind yourself it is because they love and care about you. Just answer what they want to know. This will reassure them you are ok and in return they slowly ease up on what feels like a tight grip on your life.

On the other hand there is the negative type of controlling parents. This is not as easily rectified situation. This is usually damaging to the child. Negative type of controlling parents can be mentally abusive and unhealthy.

When the control makes you feel like nothing you do, say, hope for, achieve, plan or act upon is ever good enough. When the results are cut downs that knock your self esteem down, and the control is accompanied with aggression resulting in feeling fear. This is just the tip of the pile of negative controlling parents.

Dealing with the negative type of controlling parents:

If you feel you are in a negative situation the best way to deal with this is, talk to someone about your situation. Do not be afraid to discuss your situation with a family member, school counsellor, your doctor or a friend and their parents. It is often easier if someone helps you deal with this in the best manner. This way you are not faced with confrontation on your own.

Dealing with controlling parents is a tricky situation to handle. Often one will control another because the controller has no control over their own life but in a parent child situation it is a fine line between care and abuse.

If you are unable to determine whether your parents are on the healthy or negative line of controlling you, it is important to recognize the difference. Talk to someone else about your situation. They can help you decide what the best approach to your situation would be.

What may be making you feel like screaming in frustration can usually be easily solved, in most cases it is communication breakdown.

Learn more about this author, Darcey Lee.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.