by Corinne Bernat

Created on: June 05, 2009

Pornography will damage your relationship if your attraction to it disturbs your partner. It's difficult to imagine a harmonious partnership when one of the two is involved in a virtual relationship.

I have ended to long-term relationships due to complications of porn.

My romantic relationships require that I am both physically and intellectually attracted to my partner. How I perceive my partner in these areas is of the utmost importance. My opinions are not subject to sway without a significant change in my partner's day-to-day behavior.

The reason as to how porn dissolved these otherwise solid relationships may seem prejudice or even sexist, but if my truth be told; men who can't control their impulses toward porn aren't sexy to me.

He's Come Undone

The pubescent school-boy anxiousness and secrecy porn seems to encourage in reasonably mature, adult males is extremely unattractive to me.

It may be repulsive for other women.

As a result, when porn makes its entrance into the relationship, the grand image we have of our ever-so-masculine counterparts is quickly dissolved and promptly replaced by a pulsating, 12-year-old under the covers with a flashlight.

I believe most women, like me, want men, not boys.

If you have, however, figured out a way to collect your dignity and integrity while fumbling with your zipper upon hearing footsteps, use it. A neat trick like that just might save your image and your relationship in spite of it all.

The Existential Threesome

Consider pornography a third person in your relationship whose sole purpose is to sexually stimulate. While magazines are classic, the Internet offers a much wider and immediate selection of virtual partners for your purposes.

Technology is mind-blowing, indeed.

If your authentic partner has expressed that porn has over-stayed its welcome and it's time to stop, believe it. It is then that your relationship with a fantasy, is now directly affecting your reality.

Such a request is not necessarily an ultimatum but rather an opportunity to remove unnecessary tension from your authentic relationship.

Since porn doesn't have an opinion on the matter, it only receives leverage in your authentic relationship if you side with it.

This is the problem with a virtual threesome; someone is always left out. Hopefully, it won't be your partner.

The Usual Debate

As part of a couple, you have equal say in the matter. The popular argument might be that your indulgence is merely porn and isn't a big deal.

If that's the case, logic might suggest that porn should be the one to leave. Your partner, after all, is not merely a partner but rather a human being that you have actually involved in you life.

It's a simple matter of listing your priorities.

If you can't walk away from pornography then yes, it is a problem and you may find your relationship slowly eroding away and becoming increasingly empty.

Keep in mind that women want a fulfilling relationship with you.The examples above have hopefully exposed some of the harmful effects pornography can have on your relationship.

If your relationship is being taken for granted, as mine were, the next click you hear might be your partner's heels as she walks out the front door.

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