by Vanessa Ornelas

Created on: June 05, 2009

Life is always better when it is filled with love, laughter, and smiles. However, some people have an inhibition. The inhibition keeps them from loving. A feeling such as wonderful as love isn't always viewed as such. Many are left wondering why...why are people afraid to love?

Love is a spectacular thing, yet love can also be very devastating. Serious relationships that seem to be so wonderful can suddenly diminish ending in a tragic break up. The person not seeking the break up finds himself going through the process of trying to pick up the pieces of the puzzle and figure out what went wrong. It is that damaged sense of pride and that intense hurt that causes some to vow to never love again.

Another reason some might be afraid to love is the loss of a loved one. A person spends their whole life surrounded by one special person. Fond memories, captured moments, tears of joy and sorrow, laughter, and smiles are all shared with this special person. Then, one day, that special person passes on. Again, there is the empty void one must face. There is the grief that one must go through. It's a tough realization that the person that once meant so much is no longer there physically. Instead, they have passed on, and all that remains are those memories. Memories are strong enough to hold on to, but often times not strong enough to comfort the grieving soul.

Even worse, some people may be afraid to love because they don't know how. As a child growing up, these people may have been the ones who were never given any attention, affection, time, or love. These are the people who may have spent their time being abused. In times of need, their parents were never there. Instead, these parents put everything over their children. As a result, these people grow up afraid to open up and trust because the ones that were supposed to be there couldn't even provide that unconditional love. The ones that were supposed to be there didn't care what happened to their children. Instead, they were self-absorbed and never taught their children what love is or how to even show it. These parents left these people with the assumption that no one in this world puts someone above themselves, and these feelings of love are nonexistent. They have created fear; a fear so intense that these people don't want to love for fear that the person that they have loved will turn their backs and leave them alone as they experienced growing up.

In each circumstance, it's plain to see that some are afraid to love because they fear going through pain or rejection. A feeling as intense and amazing as love, it seems inevitable that it is somewhat scary. However, people who are afraid to love can overcome these barriers and learn to love. It is not something we are either born with or we're not. Loving is a skill that is learned, and with a little time and understanding, it can be accomplished!

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