by Susan Manning

Created on: June 05, 2009

It has been said that healing from abuse is like tending a garden, a very fitting description, indeed. Whatever the form of abuse, the effect is the same, it will smother what was meant to be a thing of beauty. However extensive the damage, there is yet hope that it can be lush and thriving, full of life, a true reflection of who you are meant to be. As with any garden, this takes planning and care, but the rewards are worth all the effort!

-Tilling

The first step in creating a garden is to clear the land and prepare the soil. All you're able to see now are the weeds that been allowed to grow and choke anything that dared to bloom. A good definition of a weed is anything you do not want in your garden. In this garden, they are the lies you have come to believe. Identify what these are, and dispose of them. Maybe you've been taught that you've deserved to be treated as you had, that you brought it on yourself. Maybe you've come to believe you just were not meant for anything but this, that it is simply who you are. Or you may have just learned to accept violence and hostility as the way things are. Whatever your experience, these beliefs have got to go. Rip them out, roots and all. This can be quite a task, so you may need help, a counselor or trusted friend.

Now that you've removed the weeds, you are ready to prepare the soil. Nothing good will grow in hard, dry soil. It's time to really stir things up. Did deep into yourself to discover what you really want from this garden, and uncover it's potential. What is your heart's deepest desire? Perhaps it is a childhood dream you'd given up, or just a simple desire to be happy. This is the medium in which you will grow your wonderful things. At this stage, many new gardeners need help to decide just what kind of soil is needed. Don't be afraid to turn to others, counselors or friends, who you can trust with things you've kept hidden, who will help you reveal them. Nurture and fortify these things, the richer they are, the better your garden will grow.

-Sewing

Your soil is now ready for planting, and it's time to choose your plants. Remember, this is your garden, and only you have the right decide what will be allowed to grow in it. Choose the things you want, the things you find most beautiful, and don't be afraid anything will be too difficult to cultivate. In this garden, you will always have a green thumb. Love is a staple in any garden, valued not only for it's beauty and hardiness,

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