by Karen Chaffee

Created on: June 04, 2009   Last Updated: June 05, 2009

At the very foundation of every successful relationship lies trust. Once broken, trust is hard to re-establish. In light of these facts, is cheating ever okay? And what exactly constitutes "cheating?" Most equate the word cheating with sexual infidelity. In today's world, made smaller by a plethora of electronics, travel, and the work place, cheating has taken on a broader meaning.

While some feel that indulging an on line affair is innocent, not really cheating, the partner of one doing so often feels as hurt and betrayed as if the affair were conducted in the flesh. The same holds true when it is phone sex involved or when a partner carries on a relationship that doesn't include sex, but does include intimate sharing of confidence and conversation. Others feel that even flirting is a form of cheating. So how does one decide in their own relationship if it is ever okay to cheat?

Communicate Early On

Define to one another exactly what cheating is to you. Also decide together what exactly trust means to each of you, and what would be considered a violation of that trust. Think along the lines of invasion of privacy. Is it okay to open one another's mail? Scan through one another's cell phones? Dip into to one another's money? Set firm guidelines as to what is okay between you and what is absolutely a violation of trust.

Understand The Consequences

While your reactions to a given form of cheating are hard to predict ahead of time, most would agree that sexual affairs are absolutely off limits. In some cases, the other person does forgive, and the relationship will survive, but almost without exception, full trust will never be as sure as it was once.

When tempted to break any of the rules or cheat in any way, understand that you are putting your relationship with a loved one in severe jeopardy. Would you risk losing this person and this relationship? Picture how that would feel, how much that would change your life before choosing to cheat. And yes, realize that cheating is a choice rather than an accident.

Avoid Temptation

If you know your weaknesses, stay away from places and people that are a temptation for you. It helps not to invite trouble in the first place rather than trying to avoid hard consequences or win someone back after the fact.

Is Cheating Ever Okay

Put yourself on the receiving end of cheating. How would it make you feel? Would there be anything in your mind that would excuse someone causing you such unnecessary pain? The answer is almost always, "No." In light of all of these facts, cheating is never okay. Nothing good can come of it. Again, a trust once broken may be hard, or even impossible, to regain.

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