by Nicole Thelin

Created on: June 04, 2009   Last Updated: June 11, 2009

As humans, we relate best to those with whom we spend the most time. When students are schooled at home, their siblings become more than just family members. They are peers, project partners, fellow explorers and tutors. Children in the public school system do not get this type of interaction with their siblings.

In the public school system, there are often thirty or more students in each class. Classes change every year, if not every hour. There is a constant rotation of faces, opinions, personalities, likes and dislikes. Children can become very discretionary about whom they choose to associate, work , or learn.

Homeschooled children do not get this luxury. They are often confined to working only with those to whom they are related. Out of necessity, homeschooled children quickly develop a tolerance for - if not a friendship with - their siblings.

Most causes of sibling rivalry are eliminated when children are homeschooled. These include, but are not limited to peer pressure, choices in friends, titles or status, and competition for parental attention.

Peer pressure may cause significant fights among siblings, simply because it is usually not considered 'cool' to like your siblings. This is especially true when siblings are younger. Despite how close two siblings may have been, once one enters the public school system and obtains friends his or her own age, it is likely that there will become a great distance between them.

Fights over friends are especially difficult for children that are close in age. If a particular friend is similar in age to two or more siblings, they may compete over who that particular friend likes best.

Similarly, children who attend public school together may feel the need to compete with each other. If one is admitted to a gifted class, earns a special award, or is selected for participation in an athletic team, it can cause unwanted attention or remove wanted attention from the other child. This can result in fighting and an inexplicable competition by the unselected child to prove his/herself equal or above that of his/her sibling.

At the end of the school day, when children and parents return home, children will likely be craving parental attention. This is a difficult need for children to convey, and they often do it in adverse ways. Sometimes, fighting with siblings, refusing to listen to a parent and even failing a class are nothing more than cries for attention. Children, particularly those from larger families, will often feel neglected, unloved, or unwanted if they are not specifically sought out and given specific, individual attention for at least a few moments each day.

Homeschoolers escape most, if not all, of these situations. Because they are not enrolled in a public school environment, parents have more influence over the friends they meet or interact with. Parents also have more interaction and therefore provide more attention to each child, preventing feelings of anger, angst or hatred that could be commuted onto their siblings.

Since homeschoolers are not subjected to the conditions that breed sibling rivalry, they are able to relate to their siblings much better than publicly schooled children can. This can create wonderful, enriching relationships that will last for the rest of their lifetimes.

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