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Famed ficticious symbologist Robert Langdon, the hero of the critically condemned yet commercially successful 2006 film THE DA VINCI CODE, is back in this bloated blockbuster wannabe adaptation of Dan Brown's inconsequentially controversial bestselling book. As played by a unusually stiff (but still displaying A-list charm) Tom Hanks, Langdon, who was described by Brown (in the 2003 book "The Da Vinci Code") as "Harrison Ford in a Harris tweed", is no franchise powering figure - obviously he's no Indiana Jones but come on, he's not even in the league of Tom Clancy's Jack Ryan who Ford played in a few durable 90's thrillers.

After the Pope suddenly and mysteriously dies and Cardinal candidates are kidnapped with the Vatican under terrorist threats, Hanks is called upon by Vatican police officials to do his deciphering clues thing. He suspects the Illuminati - the secret society considered to be the "power behind the throne" and with Israeli actress Ayelet Zurer as his obligatory dark haired leggy female companion, he runs around Rome spouting exposition connecting the dubious dots. As the deceased Pope's shifty eyed assistant, Ewan McGregor seems eager to chew scenery but stalks the shadows instead, lacking a coherent character. So does Stellan Skarsgrd as a police commander in charge of a bunch of black suits with, of course, sunglasses and ear pieces also running from location to location for reasons you're likely to forget. "I need a map with all the churches in Rome!" Hanks yells in possibly one of the least gripping moments in recent movie history.

Like its predecessor, ANGELS AND DEMONS looks great (Salvatore Totino's luxurious cinematography being one of the sole saving graces), but the emptiness is endless with the actors, director, and everyone involved grasping for a gravitas that simply isn't there. Ron Howard has made many solid accessible films - FROST/NIXON was one of last year's best movies - so with hope, he'll leave Dan Brown's mechanical formula history playtime theatrics behind from here on out. I was reminded in one of the many long boring stretches of this intensely tedious film that I saw Howard/Hanks's first film together, the man meets mermaid rom com SPLASH, in the same theater almost exactly 25 years ago. Now, come to think of it, that was a fun movie with a more plausible take on mythology. Wish they'd make another like that next time around.

Learn more about this author, Daniel Johnson.
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