by Julie A. Wein

Created on: June 04, 2009

We live in a very busy world. Between work, family and other obligations, oftentimes friendships seem to be less and less able to be maintained and to grow. It's easy to get to know a lot of people, but finding real friends is never easy.

Friendship is a commitment between people to support and encourage each other, to share the good times and the bad times, to provide a sounding board for each other. It takes a lot of work to become real friends with someone and not everyone is willing or able to devote the time needed to be able to consider someone a true friend. There is a lot of give and take involved in friendship, as well as a mutual trust and respect. However, some people cannot be trusted, or are not worthy of the respect they are seeking.

Finding people who you can trust and confide in is not easy in today's world. People are becoming increasingly rude, selfish, and just downright inconsiderate. This means that fewer people are able to say they have any real friends. A real friend doesn't judge you harshly, doesn't preach to you, and accepts you the way you are. While everyone needs to experience self-acceptance, you also need for your friends to accept you as well.

Some people start out as friends and as the friendship progresses, the true colors of one party or the other come out. This can often lead to the breakdown of a friendship. A friend that seemed like a good person at first can turn out to be judgmental or untrustworthy. They can gain your trust and then use it to stab you in the back. A friend who betrays you, for his or her own personal gain or any other reason, is not a true friend.

It's a tough world out there and most people are only looking out for themselves. Too often, someone will do or say things that will cause problems for their friend and result in tension between the two parties and a general deterioration of the friendship. The loyalty that friends use to give each other seems to be disappearing in the society we live in. You never know when someone will turn against you and as a result, it is hard to be able to trust anyone enough to be able to consider him or her a true friend.

When you do finally find someone you can call a real friend, there is no guarantee the friendship will last. This can breed distrust and paranoia in some people, whether it is justified or not.

The reason people have so few real friends is that our world has become more complicated, as have the people in it.

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