by Leigh Goessl

Created on: June 04, 2009

A break up of any relationship is difficult, but breaking off a long distance relationship has some unique challenges. When two people don't live near one another and have to rely upon technology to connect with one another, figuring out how to tell the other person you want to call it quits can be difficult.

This is because the dynamics of the relationship do not gravitate around in-person meetings. For the two people involved in a long distance relationship, the majority of the communication takes place through the phone, webcam, e-mail, messenger or text messages on cell phones. When you break up with someone this is a serious decision and you want to break it off gently and also leave no room for misinterpretation.

As you decide which method of communication you should use to break off a long distance relationship, it is important to consider the foundation of the relationship. Is it a relationship with someone you met online and have not yet met in person? Is it someone who is living far away because of their job or school? Or is it someone you've been intimate with?

Here are a few tips to consider if you are looking for the right way to break up your long-distance relationship:

*Internet relationship

If your partner is someone you've never met, this is the easiest kind of long-distance breakup to end. While feelings can still be pretty strong due to an emotional connection made over the Internet, when it comes down to it, there has been no physical relationship, and an e-mail or messenger message may be appropriate.

*Personal relationship

If the person is someone you've known personally, had frequent or semi-frequent dates with, breaking it off is more difficult because you share a personal history together. Ideally it is probably best to break it off in person, but it is not possible to meet in the near future in person, you may have to consider another method.

In this kind of personal relationship, you don't want to lead a person on, or drag the relationship on in fear of giving the wrong impression. In this case, you may want to break up over the phone. An e-mail is inappropriate and an instant message is pretty impersonal. At least with a conversation over the telephone you can explain yourself and give your partner a chance to respond.

The important thing is you can talk it out enough so you both get a level of closure. Text communications can easily be misunderstood or leave things unsaid that needed to be voiced.

*Serious relationship

A relationship which has been pretty serious with regular meetings or intimate with intense emotions, a break-up in person is really the best course of action. Distance can make it difficult, but it is the right thing to do to make the effort to get together and break up in person

It is best not to let too much time pass because this only prolongs the agony for yourself and it will be more painful for the person you're breaking up with because they'll go longer blissfully unaware of what's going on in your mind. When you've come to a definitive conclusion you want to break up, it's best to do it as soon as possible.

Breaking off any kind of long-distance relationship is often a painful and difficult decision. How you approach the breakup is important, and you should always be honest, but remain as gentle as possible. Be clear in your words so the person you used to love, or at least greatly admire, understands what you're saying.

You don't want to hurt their feelings, but leading them on is unfair to the both of you. Honesty is always the best policy and kindness should accompany this honesty when breaking off the long-distance relationship.

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