I love the Internet. I make my living off it. There's no greater source of up-to-date information the many corners of the online world. There's no better way to reach people from across the world than the Internet, and we owe so much to this wonderful network.

But god is it ever annoying sometimes.

There's so much rambling idiocy on the Internet that I can't help but loathe the thing as much as I love it. The Internet, as well as being an incredible source of knowledge, is equally a den of stupidity and maliciousness that's almost unparalleled in other media. There are so many things that bug me about the Internet, in fact, that I just have to make a list about them all. Enjoy.

1.) 'net speak. u no, stuff lik dis. The Internet has reduced our otherwise proud language to a series of single letter sentences and moronic abbreviations like LOL, ROFL and STFU. Worst part is, whenever these lazy phrases pop up, the person on the other side of the screen is NEVER doing what it says. Who actually rolls on the floor laughing when they see something funny? Anybody? No, nobody.

2.) l33t speak. Similar to 'net speak, l33t speak replaces letters with numbers. $0m37h1n9 1|{3 7h1$. (If you understood that, hang your head in shame. Like me.) Though surprisingly inventive in its own way, l33t speak is essentially useless unless you're using it as a code to bewilder people for your own amusement.

3.) Pop up ads. Gah! I hate these things! And no matter how thoroughly I configure my browser's settings, a few of these stupid things always manage to slip through. I don't care about your online casino, dangit, I just want to read a comic.

4.) Rampant ignorance. Because people online are anonymous they feel free to slag on anybody and everybody, with as malicious a tongue as possible. Things they'd never say in the flesh come stumbling out in a wave of horrid depravity. Racism has taken on a whole new form online, and not only is it stupid and wrong, it's also usually lacking in subtlety or art.

5.) Thievery. RAMPANT thievery. People will steal one another's content at the drop of a hat without giving credit.

6.) Viruses. Beware downloading ANYTHING these days, as somebody out there has probably stuck a virus in it that will irreparably screw up your computer.

7.) Intolerance. Similar to rampant ignorance, many of the denizens of the Internet are unwilling to ask questions. All too often if you don't know something you're branded an idiot and flamed into dust. Can't we all just get along and help one another? Jeez.

8.) Spam e-mail. If you sign your e-mail up on anything you're virtually guaranteed to get hit by a wave of useless spam, much of it aimed at increasing the length of your penis or the size of your breasts. Or both. (I'm not kidding, either.)

9.) Con jobs. The Internet is littered with con artists ready to take advantage of your trusting nature. Adopt a healthy sense of skepticism before you agree to anything online.

10.) Endless rambling about nothing of value. Since I'm starting to enter that realm, I'd best stop.

In other words, beware the Internet. Love it, but beware it.

Learn more about this author, Matt Bird.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

---

Add your voice

Know something about Ways the Internet is annoying?
We want to hear your view. Write now!