by Matt Bird

Created on: June 04, 2009

Death is seldom a light subject to deal with. Nor should it be - this is the passing of somebody you knew and presumably loved, after all, a passing that will separate the two of you for the rest of your life. Anybody who takes death lightly is probably a fool who hasn't had to deal with it firsthand themselves in any significant way.

Yet death shouldn't consume. You can't allow it you rule your life or it can ruin you. Dwelling on the demise of a loved one can prompt a dramatic shift in lifestyle, and not for the better: constant depression, a negative outlook and poor health are just a few symptoms of somebody who's having trouble letting go. Yet they must eventually if life is to continue as it ever did.

Here, then, are a few things you can do to help surmount the barrier of losing a loved one. They won't all work for everybody, but most should help close that chapter of your life and move on to happier pastures.

- Seek a bereavement counselor. These people are professionals. They deal in death, so to speak, and know the most effective strategies for getting over a departed loved one. They'll give you the advice you need to move on.

- Spend time with your friends. Lingering on your own, with your thoughts constantly on the person you've lost, isn't healthy. A bit of alone time is expected, but all your time alone is a bad thing, and likely counterproductive. Surround yourself in family and friends who may similarly be grieving and you can all learn to get over the loss jointly.

- Get out and make new friends. No, I'm not talking about replacing the person you've lost, especially if they were a romantic interest. Socializing is a good way of getting your mind off the negative qualities of life, however, and new friends might not only provide you with entertainment but possibly an alternative perspective on the death you'd not considered before.

- Look to religious solace. If you're of the spiritual sort, have a talk with a religious leader in your community. They can provide you with consolation that conforms to your beliefs and, in all likelihood, tell you exactly what you need to hear to make you feel better.

- Distract yourself with new hobbies. This isn't to say that you should try to ignore the death, but you need to keep your mind from constantly dwelling on it. Immerse yourself in new and fresh activities that will reinvigorate your passion for life.

- Talk with the deceased. Make a visit to the grave stone or other grave site and have a chat. Get whatever lingering sentiments you might have on your chest out in the open. It may seem weird at first, but once you start talking you'll feel a lot better.

- Look for a support group. Similar to the counselor, there are support groups out there which can provide joint solace to the bereaved. Having the strength of others really helps in trouble spots.

Whatever you do, don't just pen yourself up alone for days on end. All you're likely to do solo is brood and mourn constantly, and nobody wants that - least of all the person you've lost.

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