by Alden Hardee

Created on: June 04, 2009

Learn to Drive

Check your mirrors
Adjust your seat,
You're gonna drive
Just down the street.

Put it in drive
You can't move in park,
You don't need your headlights
It's not even dark.

You're in a 40
You can do more than 10.
Well I said speed up
But this is not what I meant!

Watch out for the curb,
Don't hit the old ladies!
You came this close to swiping
That Mercedes!

Those are your wipers,
I said hit your blinker.
What the hell are you doing?
Don't give him the finger!

Give it some juice,
Well not that much.
Brake for the squirrel,
What was that crunch?

That was a mailbox.
There goes another.
Holy crap,
You're worse than your brother!

Well you didn't kill much,
You did pretty good.
Just pick up the mailbox
And clean the blood off the hood.

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