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recipe for disaster and eventually divorce. Individuality is important for each part of a couple to maintain while still being faithful to the commitment required in a relationship.

Children require commitment and security in the pursuit of growing into healthy adults. The idea that it is the responsibility of one parent to inform the children about the divorce is flawed in logic. Both parents have arrived at the decision that their marriage cannot be saved, therefore both parents should be involved in sharing this information with their children. That way children are allowed to ask important questions and be reassured that the ending on marriage does not mean that one parent loves them any less. This needs to be constantly said by both parents because children often forget that they are loved when they see so much anger and frustration being exhibited around them. It is also important to know that your children need to hear from both parents that they have permission to still love the noncustodial parent. Not hearing this leaves your child divided because they feel that they are not being loyal to you by wanting to have a relationship with both parents.

Children should never be a sounding board for any negative feelings that you have toward your former spouse. Flexibility in visitation schedules will become necessary so that both parents are able to live life happily while still being involved with their children. Regular communication about feelings of the child as things continue to change around them is essential but any negative feelings toward the other parent should be somewhat deflected unless your child mentions abusive behavior.

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