by Natalia Jones

Created on: June 03, 2009   Last Updated: June 04, 2009

The first date can feel like the mother of all interviews. You check your outfit a million times before you allow yourself to leave the house, sometimes even calling for back-up, so some friends come over to vet the outfit that will forever go down as the thing you wore on that day in history. You can be so obsessed with appearing physically attractive and sending the right messages with your clothes, you only really start to panic about what on earth you are going to chat about when you see your date's head appear, as everyone else in the room fades into the background, bollywood movie style.

Your mouth goes dry, you can hear your knees rattle and your stomach gives a lurch that says, "you fool, quick say something!" There's no need to turn tail and run for the door. Relax and remember that this date would never be happening if the other person did not already find something about you attractive, and this is the opportunity to get to know someone better and at the very least make a new friend.

Because we accept that no amount of pep talking will save you at this very desperate moment, we now launch into the very reason you are sitting here reading this article. The following paragraphs can be described as "Cliff's Notes," on how to succeed on a first date.

Start with a warm greeting. A light peck on the cheek or a hug is sufficient to break the ice. Usually talking about how you got there, if you came separately, is a safe opener and serves to warm up the vocal cords, like the la la las of a singer. Of course if you have to drive there together, you must have some extra chit chat for the trip. Complementing your date's outfit is a nice way to put the other person at ease, while appearing more confident yourself. Talk about your neighborhood, if the other person had trouble finding the place. Comment on the car and even the choice of music. Let the other person have a chance to initiate a topic as well. Your nerves might cause you to instinctively jump from one thing to the next, but doing this is sure to make you seem either obnoxious, or if your date chooses to give you the benefit of the doubt, nervous.

So you have arrived at your destination and you are settled in, this is when the game really begins. One of the oldest tricks in the book is to the ask questions yourself. This throws the ball in the other person's court and gives you the chance to hear what they have to say. Allow them to ask you some questions as well. Hedging may make them begin to wonder if you are a mole or double agent. Not the sort of intrigue you want to create.

This rest of the date is simply to explore the things that interest both of you and where differences exist. Number of siblings, location of the parents and other family members that may have been mentioned or even which family member the person is closest to, are all natural facts of this person's life that help you to put the pieces of the puzzle together. You should punctuate the heavier topics with bits of fun facts, like favorite foods, best movie of all time or best ever slow dance song. Making a game of coming up with the most ridiculous fun fact questions, is a nice way to ask crazy questions without being judged. Soon you will be laughing like old friends as the stories associated with the facts come flowing through.

A first date is a special and exciting experience that should be treasured for its possibilities. As Sam Klein once said, "you come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly".

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