How to Love Your Status as a Stay-at-Home-Mom
The title of stay-at-home-mom can be exactly what you always thought you'd have, or it can come as a surprise decision you make the day your child is born. Either way, like any job, it has both benefits and downfalls. Of course you will love the time spent with your child, but you may also find yourself feeling a little out of the loop of regular life.
Here are five tips to help make this your dream job:
1. Create your own water cooler: Remember how nice it was at your office job to take a break from the incessant ringing of your cubicle phone and head over for a c chat with your fellow workers at the water cooler? The camaraderie of others can be one of the main things that a stay-at-home mom misses. Sure you have your kids to talk to, but how much of an opinion on global warming or the new yellow purse you just bought is your three-month-old likely to have?You can create your own water cooler atmosphere in a variety of ways. First, think like a mom. Where do mommies go? Story time at your local library is a gold-mine of a place to pick up new mommy friends. Many libraries have story times for a variety of ages, even newborns. And unlike a new man you are trying to impress, the other mommies won't care about that fresh spit-up stain on your shirt.
Another great water cooler to try is a playgroup. Of course playgroups for newborns tend to be a little more about the mommies interacting, but finding the perfect playgroup can help older children learn social interaction.
The great thing about hanging out with other mommies is that they will not make a face when you tell them you are a stay-at-home-mom. In fact, they probably won't even ask what your day job is since it is 10:30 on a Wednesday, and you are both listening to the librarian make zoo animal noises while bouncing your bundles-of-joy upon your laps.
2. Stay current: Don't lose your own interests in the pursuit of being a mommy. Remember how much you loved reading the latest literary best-seller before your child was born, but now all you find yourself reading is books on parenting? Take the time to pursue your old interests.
Are you planning on going back to work in a few years? Stay current on your old industry. This can be a plus when it comes time to head back to the work force. Do you enjoy reading? Start a book club with your mommy friends.
Also, make use of your playgroup time to discuss things besides parenting. It's nice to share methods to deal with teething, but it is also good to share similar interests, whether it's saving the rainforests or clothes shopping.
For a break from the mommy mind-set at your next play date, introduce some of your own interests or ask the other mommies what their interests are. No matter what you chose to stay current on, it is important to do so, or five years down the road you may feel like parenting is all you have thought about for a half of a decade.
3. Take plenty of vacation time: A vacation can be anything from a childless trip to the grocery store to a weekend away. The important thing is that you take this time to avoid mommy burn-out. After all, people in day jobs get vacation time, and they aren't even on duty 24 hours a day like you are.
At least once a week, schedule some alone time for yourself. Head to a spa, take a long bubble bath, or spend a night out with friends. For the ultimate mommy treat, try an overnight trip to a nearby city with some friends or your hubby.
Even getting a part-time job can help you avoid the mommy exhaustion that hits about once a month, or week-or in more serious cases-a day.
4. Don't take your job too serious: The best news about being a stay-at-home mom is that you can't get fired if that ring in the bathtub stays there one more day. Take time to enjoy your job. Once a week spend a day doing absolutely nothing but fun things with your children.
Take your three year old to the manicurist with your and get her nails done too, or head to the movies. Every moment of every stay-at-home-mom day does not have to be perfect. Yes, teaching colors, numbers, and ABCs is important, but don't forget to occasionally take some time to just let your kids (and yourself) be kids.
5. Remember the perks: When you have those days where can't stand the thought of changing another diaper or listening to another terrible-two-tantrum, sit down and make a list of all the reasons you chose to be a stay-at-home mom and all the perks you have discovered since doing so.
Being a stay-at-home mom has a variety of perks both original to each mom and universal to all stay-at-home-moms. Did you decide to stay home because you wanted to see all of your child's firsts? Make a list of each first you have captured. Watch that video of your daughter's first-steps or recall the first time your son went on the potty.
Imagine the alternative of what life would have been like if you had gone back to work. What would you have missed in your child's life while spending a good portion of your paycheck on daycare and work clothes? Add to your list each time you are feeling a little confused on your career choice.
Staying at home isn't always perfect, especially on those days when both your child moves from one tantrum to another, but remember your day job wasn't perfect either. Try to remember some of the things that you don't miss about it. If this doesn't work, try tip number three and take a vacation. Hire a babysitter for a few hours and head out to get some errands done solo.
The important thing in avoiding mommy burn-out is to do whatever it takes to make the situation work for you and your children. Being a stay-at-home mom may furthest from what you imagined yourself doing as you sat in news writing class in college, but it doesn't have to be a miserable experience. Who knows, you may even find yourself missing your stay-at-home mom life when you return to the working world in a few years.