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My father is not a man who usually says too much about the men his daughters' date or marry. If dad does not like the men, he simply does not talk to them at all. However, sometimes dad will go the extra mile if he thinks a suitor is a great match for one of his five daughters.

Dad went the extra mile in the early stages of my relationship with Ray. He continues to go out of his way to make my boyfriend of three years feel like part of the family in many ways.

I do wonder if Dad had shared this much with my ex-husband if my marriage would still be intact. My marriage lasted for nineteen years and all that survives from the union is three wonderful children. I did not think dad understood what was going on, but he did. My father, in his infinite wisdom, told me simply that he wished my ex-husband would go out west to his mommy.

That simple statement said a lot to me, because I know my dad. If my ex-husband would go out west, my kids would grow up with a better influence. No longer would they suffer the embarrassment of having a drunken family member. The kids and I would not live in fear as we did the first few days after I threw out my ex-husband. Dad's simple words would cover all those bases, with the ex out of the state we would not be scared, embarrassed, or otherwise influenced.

The first few months of being a single mom, I did not date. I had no desire at all. When I told my parents the following spring that I had met Ray, dad said, for a foreigner he is a good man. My parents had met Ray after he came to our country from Australia.

Over the spring and into the summer, my friendship with Ray blossomed into something more real. It was easy because we had so much in common. Then late summer, I got scared that I was about to get my heart broken and I backed off the relationship. I was so afraid my heart would be broken, because the relationship seemed too perfect. Dad told me simply to rethink that move.

I did rethink that 'move' often for the next two months, and yet I was scared. I missed Ray with every breath I took. Those first few months of dating him had erased fears I had. He made me feel beautiful and special. Ray was the one who made me laugh. He gently pushed me toward believing in myself once more and made me feel happier than I had in a long time. He was a dear friend, lover, and confidant all rolled into one special sweet-talking man.

When birthday number forty rolled around, I was so ready to surrender to the love that I knew was waiting in Ray's arms again. He had waited for me to find out what I needed and we picked up right where we had left off.

My family adores Ray and the feeling is mutual. He and my dad are like two old friends. They are pranksters and no one is safe from their antics. Mom and dad plan 'casino' days around Ray's day off, and we have supper there. These days dad says, Ray is a good man, and leaves the foreigner part out. That is because he knows Ray on a personal level and sees the real man I love. Dad and Ray do things together when dad's health permits, but when we visit my parent's home, dad and Ray always find the time to talk together about any topic.

I am so glad I did what my dad told me and re-thought that move back in the fall of 2006. I could not imagine my life without Ray. With Ray, I have restored confidence in my abilities across the board, and in a way, I know dad is directly responsible. My dad may be a man of few words but he chooses words carefully when he gives thoughtful advice. I am glad my dad played matchmaker for me.

Learn more about this author, Amy Jo Browne.
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