by Dawn Hawkins

Created on: June 02, 2009

The thought of getting into a serious relationship can sometimes cause a great deal of fear in a person. Many thoughts can run through the mind and the person who is afraid of committing will find every excuse in the world to stay away from it. Some people will go to extremes, such as breaking off a good relationship, to avoid the commitment.

It can be very difficult for the other person in the relationship to understand the fear that their mate has. It is something that takes a lot of understanding to get through though.

Here are some of the reasons why some people fear commitment and what you can do to deal with it:

Insecurities

Insecurities that a person feels about him/herself can cause a great deal of hesitation and fear about commitment. That is because when you don't feel good about yourself, you find it hard to believe that anyone else will. If this is the reason that your mate won't make a commitment there are two ways to handle it. First, you can leave the relationship. This may not be the answer that you want to hear, but you may never get a commitment out of him/her if this is the cause.

The other option is to reassure your mate how much he/she means to you. You will have to do this on a regular basis. Talking things over with your mate and letting him/her know what makes you love him/her helps a great deal. It also helps if you reassure him/her that he/she is the only one in your life and that it will remain that way because you love him/her.

Past Indiscretions of Another

If the fear of commitment comes from past issues with a different person, it can be a little more difficult to get past. When we have been hurt by someone in the past, such as cheating, it scars us for a long time to come. It leaves us worrying about the same thing happening in the future. That is where the commitment wall is built. If you want to do it, the wall can be torn down slowly.

Sticking with this kind of relationship can be very difficult. You can begin to feel as though you are paying for the errors someone else made. There isn't a lot you can do about what another person does so it feels like you can't do anything to make it better. This couldn't be further from the truth. If you stand by this person even when they feel this fear, you can have one of the best relationships that you ever had. Just be worthy to surpass those issues.

Be a trustworthy partner. Don't do anything that would make your mate feel

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