Search Helium

Home > Creative Writing > Satire

Satire: Parents

by Francesca Grace

Created on: June 02, 2009

Here is my theory on parents. Well, male parents, after their respective spouses pass away or divorce them. This theory has evolved from watching first hand, as elderly men said good bye to a wife of more than 40 years and wound up in the sack with some other woman just a few weeks later. Two weeks in the case of my father-in-law, with some bimbo he picked up in a Tampa bar. Within six weeks another one had pretended she was pregnant and extorted several thousand dollars from him before one of his kids had a P.I. tail the woman to find out she was lying. Damn. He had actually been proud to think his old sperm was still swimming.

Not only do these men pick up on their teenage sex life without skipping a beat, courtesy of Viagra, but somehow, their complete memory of their grown children and their grandchildren was also erased like a sci fi movie of the week. We have witnessed this phenomenon in my husband's family, as well as in many others of our friends when their formerly loving fathers were replaced by paranoid and angry strangers who now had female "handlers" making all their decisiosn for them.

Some people say, "Good for him! He should have love again in his life." Agreed. No one should be denied. No one should be forced to live without romantic love, but we are not talking about love here today. We're talking about good old horn dog random sex hookups of the geriatric kind that lead to the total destruction of what was once, a family.

So here is the theory; women secrete a vaginal chemical and when it comes into contact with a male penis, has the ability to affect the hippocampus of the male brain. That would be the area of the brain that stores memory. Even after one encounter with this vaginal memory neutralizer, an otherwise loving man will "forget" to call his granddaughter on her birthday.

With repeated applications, this said same grandfather with no longer recall that he has any grandchildren or for that matter grown children at all. After several months he will become unreachable by telephone and unavailable for all holiday gatherings. Pictures will be removed from the walls of his home as the female memory vaporizer begins to spend more and more time at the mans home. In our own case, the woman convinced him to have an auction company go through his house and sell everything of value. She sold her own home and all it's contents to her daughter for $10. so it was protected from combining with his assets. She then announced to his sons that

239125

Featured Partner

American Skating Association

Promoting the health and well-being of Americans through programs and activities.more


CONNECT WITH US

Read
our blog
Helum for writers

Write and get published
Share with other writers
Polish your freelancing skills

Join our active writing community
Helium Content Source for Publishers

Quality articles from proven freelancers
Exclusive rights, fast turnaround
Brand engagement, business blogging -- our writers do it all

Get custom content today!

INFORMATION


Helium, Inc.
200 Brickstone Square Andover, MA 01810 USA
#