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I do believe in God. As a teenager and young adult, I couldn't say unequivocally that I believed in God. After marriage and the birth of my daughter, I became more interested in God. Who moved, God or me? What happened? Was it a scenario like that of the prodigal son who wandered about squandering a birthright on passion and pleasure then perceived the stupidity of it all? Was it an awakening of sorts, a change in chemistry, a subliminal yearning for something more? God certainly didn't move.

It has been said that God is infinite. God is mysterious and unknowable. We are capricious and finite. Today, a hamburger sounds delicious. Tomorrow, a hamburger may seem repulsive, greasy and fattening. I may instead prefer a salad. Other people pretty much are wired the same way Today we accept much of that which should be rejected and reject much of that which should be accepted. Tomorrow, we may change our mind. Thousands of years of other people's experiences, admonitions, insights with or about God are irrelevant to some today. Others find God to be an encumbrance, a stumbling block; an overbearing eye in the sky that is just waiting to see what happens on earth. Still others say that the entire notion of God is just a frivolous and fruitless exercise. Can anyone convince another of an opinion not shared or diametrically opposed to one's own beliefs? Is this where something like grace may help?

People are rightfully suspicious of many of the external influences they encounter and accept contemporary ideologies that generally fit their life principles. Living has become so confusing and many are so very perplexed by competing ideas and ideals. Left to their own devices, the only logical conclusion to derive at is to dismiss the entire ordeal of dealing with God. All of those conflicting theologies, sects and arguments even among those who say that they believe in God leave befuddled or even disgust sincere individuals who desire to know what exactly is good and right. Woe to those through whom inevitable scandals come.

I believe in God. Oh that doesn't mean that I'm happy with myself. But that's a sort of consolation in and of itself. My "self" just gets in the way. It's ok to be both disgusted and in love with myself, with all of my shortcomings, my foibles and goofy mistakes. I know that God knows me better than I know myself, and I know that every human being grapples with the same menagerie of stuff that I do and so I love them too. God has taken care of the junk we manage to collect and nurture. Jesus Christ is my hope. I believed him when he said and showed me that he loved me. I didn't do anything to warrant his love except this one very important though seemingly insignificant act: I believed him.

Learn more about this author, Joe Palvado.
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