by Anna Hofman

Created on: June 01, 2009

Taking everything into account. NO. Honestly, if a friend breaks your trust to THAT extent, how could you ever forgive her? You may have been best friends since you learned to walk and talk, but if someone betrays you that much, knowing what it will do to you, how can they even try to get your trust back?

A friend is someone who is there for you whether you're smiling or crying, drops everything to listen to your problems, shares huge life experiences with you and will stick by you no matter what. None of those involve sleeping with your boyfriend or husband. Of course it is the most painful thing one can imagine to lose a friend AND a boyfriend at the SAME time, but it is also the most refreshing thing to tell them both where to go knowing what they did to you.

If you feel you can't not keep at least one of them, you need to weigh up whether it's worse for the boyfriend, who is meant to be your friend AND your partner (and only YOUR partner) - also, it is worth taking into account that if a man cheats once he is very likely to do it again, and if he actually cheated on you with your FRIEND he clearly won't care about sleeping with a stranger, and as for your so called "friend", she put one night over your whole friendship (depending on how many times it had happened), although if it was her who told you, it may be worth giving her a second chance (eventually, not straight away). Personally I would chuck the bloke if I was in this situation, depending on the situation and who came on to who (best way to find that out is by taking into account who told you - guilty conscience or real friendship? And then sitting all three of you down together and squeezing all the details out of both of them).

Another thing to consider is your friends history with you. Has she always been there? Has she been your friend long? Have you ever felt the friend ship was one sided before now? If she's been loyal and true a lot of the time before this incident, although it's a huge deal and it will be a long climb to get over it all, it is probably worth trying to let go for the sake of your friendship. But if you keep your man, prepare to continue being jealous of him and your friend and worried about other women (and rightly so). It would be a lot easier to chuck him. Also, if you keep him you're practically inviting him to do it again for hardly any punishment, he will have gotten away with it and he'll have his cake and eat it whenever he wants. Make space for a man who will treat you like a princess and worship the ground you walk on! There are plenty out there and you're worth way more than someone who cheats.

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