by Barbara FeliceHowarth

Created on: June 01, 2009   Last Updated: June 02, 2009

Negative relationships: The main topic on approximately 75% of the talk shows circuit! Chances are if you have been in 3 or more relationships you have probably been in a negative one yourself. There are a plethora of reasons for dating someone that isn't right for you and from past experiences here are a few of them.

Low Self Esteem: This is the number one reason in my opinion. If you don't have self worth and have that " I don't deserve better" outlook, then more times than not, will settle for the first person who asks you out. At first you justify the relationship with reasons like "He didn't have both parents" "He grew up poor". After justification and a few compliments from your partner you start thinking "I bet I'm the one that can change him" OR "maybe if I buy him the right clothes he'll feel better about himself and treat me better," which is a total fantasy.

People never change, no matter what you do or say. They may act different for awhile until the lust wears off, but in no time they will be back to their old self again. The most dangerous part about this type of negative relationship is often it will lead to an abusive one. At first you are so flattered that he gets jealous if some other guy gives you even the smallest glance. You think "Isn't that cute, he's jealous." When someone shows this type of jealousy it leads to violence and that is the hardest type to leave.

Adventure/Shock Value : "I want the bad boy, it's so exciting" OR "I'll show my parents, Ill date whomever I want." This is one of the most mentally difficult negative relationship to get out of. You love the excitement, but eventually you get over your head and you're torn between leaving or sticking it out until he gets bored of being bad. Word of warning, he won't get bored and chances are you will get involved one way or another in an illegal activity. You will end up alienating your family by the time you leave this bad relationship

The Non-Committed: These are the girls who date married men or inmates of a prison. Why? Because they know it can't go anywhere and they feel safe (at first). These women want the best of both worlds, but chances are they either get attached to the married man who will not leave his wife or the inmate gets released or paroled earlier than they thought. This can be a dangerous situation and should be avoided no matter what. You are only fooling yourself. This is a Fatal Attraction waiting to happen!

Newly Divorced: The first person you date after a divorce is what they call a "rebound" or "refresher course" relationship. Half the time you don't even ask for their name! You go out and find the best looking person to make you feel better about yourself, especially if you were the one that was dumped. This is negative for several reasons. First, you don't really get details about their life. You've been out of the loop for years so chances are your apt to have unsafe sex. You may even think it's love for fear of being alone but most of the time unless you got divorced because of this person it wont lead to anything but booty calls and heartaches in the end.

There is nothing wrong with not having a partner. If it happens it happens. Anything is better than a negative relationship because they leave an imprint on your brain that can't be forgotten, which lowers your self esteem even more. Find a best friend instead and don't even look. If the right one is meant to come in your life, he or she will come to you when you least expect it.

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