by Victoria Tiegert

Created on: June 01, 2009

First dates can be filled with uncomfortable moments. Here you sit, with someone you really don't know from Adam, and you are supposed to let your hair down and have a nice evening together. One of the most uncomfortable moments you will experience will almost certainly be that dreaded moment of silence, where conversation has come to an end and you have run out of new topics to discuss and share.

The solution to this is prevention. You should always come up with a backup list of topics you can talk about before you leave for the date. This way, you are ready for the infamous "pregnant pause" in conversation. The following are some things that you can talk about on a first date. This will avoid the problem I have often had of saying the stupidest, most embarrassing thing in the world, just to fill the silence.

*History

Never include your history with other men or women, but other than that, your background makes for nice conversation. The purpose of the first date is usually to get to know someone better and part of that will be discovering where you each came from and what shaped you into the people that you are today. Ask questions about your date and share a bit about yourself, as well.

*Mutual acquaintances and friends

How did you happen to meet in the first place? Were there mutual friends that brought you together? You can ask how he or she met those people to fill the void for a moment. This may even lead into more exciting conversation than you think. You never know, that is the fun of new people and first dates.

*Careers and Hobbies

Do you share a common interest in something? Maybe you both like extreme sports or maybe you are both movie buffs, these can be lengthy topics of conversation. Careers are another topic that can be discussed fairly candidly. What are your career goals? How did you get involved in the career you're in? There are also questions relating to their satisfaction with their career choice and company in particular.

*Family

Okay, not every family is like mine, but I have a full platter of kooky family stories that will amuse even the most dull of people. Be careful not to share too many of these as they may begin to wonder if the gene pool isn't something to be concerned about, but if you have one about someone once removed, such as a great aunt, that will work just fine to use in that uncomfortable silence. Also, be careful who you are talking about as the person may one day meet them if all goes well.

Having a repertoire of conversation starters along with you on that first date can be a lifesaver. The silent moments are often openings for saying just what you never wanted to, or stuttering with nothing at all for too long. This is incredibly uncomfortable for most of us so pack along a sack of starters and you will enjoy a date full of conversation and hopefully, a good time.

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