by Savannah White

Created on: June 01, 2009   Last Updated: June 02, 2009

Some people are blessed with the ability to speak well. Others are blessed with the ability to speak often. Then there are those whose words are more of a curse than a blessing. Most of us have encountered someone like this. What they say comes easily for them, but is not always easy on the ears of those listening. These people speak without thinking.

Speaking without thought presents several problems for the speaker and the hearer. The first problem with speaking without thinking is that you usually say the wrong thing. You say things you do not mean, or you do not say them the way you want to. What you really want to express gets lost in translation when the hearer does not know what you mean. It can also get lost when your words cause hurt feelings, confusion, and sometimes anger.

Once those words are spoken there is no getting them back, which is another problem for speaking without thought. It does not matter what the words are, if they are not the right words they can be considered rude or insensitive. Even though you are not trying to be hurtful, your words can easily cause damage to another person.

When you are saying the wrong thing all the time it also affects your reputation. Your words are no longer rude and insensitive, you are. Not only will people talk about your rudeness, they will be reluctant to talk to you out of fear of what you may say. No one wants to hear something bad or negative about themselves so they will avoid talking to you.

It is probably impossible to find a person who hasn't, at one time or another, spoken without thinking. We have all said words we wish we could take back. All you can do is apologize and try to not do it again.

For those people who always say the wrong thing, you first need to realize your speaking habits are a problem. No doubt someone close to you, a friend or family member, has told you of your rudeness. Don't become defensive or claim you can't help the way you talk. Believe what others have told you and try to change.

One technique that might help is to count to five before you utter a single word. This brief pause will give you the opportunity to think before you speak. Chances are you will think of less harmful words. Another idea is to rehearse in your mind what you are about to say. If you realize what your words will sound like before you say them, there is a good chance you will choose your words more carefully. You can also imagine being on the receiving end of what you will say. When you consider those insensitive words coming at you without warning you will better understand how they may affect other people.

Changing from someone who speaks without thinking to someone who considers their words careful will not happen overnight. It may take longer than you want, but it can and will happen when you work on changing. When that change finally happens, not only will your words improve, but your reputation will also.

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