by Margaret Lucyk

Created on: May 31, 2009

So, you are an immigrant living in the USA? How is your life different from the 'ole country? Do you feel better, the same, indifferent? Is the US culture open and warm towards people with an accent? I have had to deal with these questions for a better portion of my life. You see, I am an immigrant. It has been an interesting journey that I am still trying to understand if I truly fit in. For example, at the cash register at the local store, the cashier asks me - How are you today? I would like to tell her the whole story, but bite my lip and say "Wonderful". Next, she asks "Did you find everything you needed" I mumble - "Yes,I have." And thus, I remind myself how difficult psychologically this interaction is on my nervous system First of all - if someone asks me - how my day is going- I find it unnatural to just say "Fine" - it is an accepted form of communication in the USA. I wonder if this a script the cashier has to say in order to "connect" with the customer. If it is a forced interaction then the whole interaction becomes robotic devoid of human spirit My soul yearns to express more information because that question seems to genuinely want to know more about me. If I say "Fine" that is not sufficient internally for me. For people born in the USA that greeting is just a formality for an immigrant like me it is an invitation for discussion. A discussion that cannot proceed because what can you say in 2 minutes at the check out about yourself to a stranger? Now, I am sure that in small towns that reality is different for people because there everyone knows everybody for years and is one big happy family. In the big city social interaction can get as cold as the cement sidewalk.

Another interaction I find difficult to bear is between neighbors. You are walking into your home and see your neighbor cutting grass on the front lawn and say "Hi" and he says "Hi" back to you. Many people live like that FOR YEARS. I call it the "hi- bye" syndrome. I recoil again at the thought of how little social interaction there is between people around you that are your neighbors. Maybe you are lucky enough that people in your cul de suc actually have a bbq or block party once in a blue moon but that is rare in my neighborhood. So, practically you can go on your whole life without having a genuine emotional connection and interaction with people you see or are physically close to. I must add the joggers who jog with earphones and are listening to their music or the 20 feet high fences between houses requesting extreme privacy. Then, if you go to a gym there's people looking up at TVs with headphones who are oblivious that there are human being around them. I see the USA as a very isolationist type of society that is divided on racial, economic and social terms. Will it ever change? I don't know - you tell me? Do you see what I see? Do you feel what I feel?

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