by Victoria Tiegert

Created on: May 31, 2009

When it comes to tear production, parents have the rest of the world beat hands down. It is the intense and indescribable love that we feel for our children that gives us the edge. We would do anything to spare them even a single moment of sadness and heartache. But, we can't. Even though we know that in our heart of hearts, we still try and we fail. This is, for me, when the tears start in earnest. They are the most painful tears I ever shed because they are tears of love for my child.

Having three very special daughters, I have cried for each one over the years. Tears when they didn't win the big race that they trained so hard for. Tears when they experienced that first heart-rending break-up with their Prince Charming. Tears when they were let down by a friend. Even tears when they made bad decisions and had to be disciplined in order to learn. For each of these beautiful girls, I have cried the most anguished of tears, but for one of them, the baby, my tears have been more wrenching, more plentiful, and more worrisome than the others.

You see, my youngest child has never had it easy. From the time that she was born, a bit premature and not breathing, it seems that the things others take for granted have been a struggle. Walking didn't come until she was two years old. When she started school, it was awful. I had to stay with her, not for one day, but for weeks, while she sobbed, wanting only to go home with mommy where she'd always been before. It seemed that her school career went all downhill from there.

By third grade, she was formally diagnosed with severe ADHD as well as with a learning disorder. Extremely intelligent and quick-witted, she simply could not learn effectively in the classroom environment. Because of this, she did not do well on her assignments and report cards. Eventually, she was placed in LRC for some more specialized teaching and attention.

Because of the constant failures she faced academically, she withdrew socially as well. Children can be a cruel sort, not understanding that the wounds they are inflicting with their words are incredibly damaging. They teased and they taunted and my daughter grew to be very withdrawn and somewhat angry. This continued through grade school and middle school. She would come home and cry those tears and so would I.

These are my saddest tears. Now, in high school, she has matured some and found a group of friends that have accepted just as she is. Just as she is is really a wonderful, bright, and creative person, even if a different than what we call normal. What her future holds, I can't say, but my hope is that she will grab onto those amazing things within her and turn them into something remarkable. That day my tears will turn to tears of joy.

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