by Pennee Struckman

Created on: May 31, 2009

Breaking up is nasty business. You lose interest, or you realize that while you are fond of the person and like him or her a lot, the world goes on well without them around you. And you know that you don't marry or settle in with the person you can live with, it's that one person you can't live without that make you take the final step. A long distance relationship can bring a person to this realization sooner.

When you decide that the long distance relationship is not working, you experience the same feelings as in a same city relationship. You struggle with the guilt, and hope the other person finds someone and dumps you. The relationship goes on, and you know you are going to have to be the bad guy, or girl. This is where is the fact that the relationship has distance that it gets a little easier. You don't have to go to dinner, look them in the eye, or give them a long list of reasons why. The only thing you have to do is use the phone.

Personally, long distance or short, I have always hated dinners or any kind of face to face in a breakup. Even when I have been the dumpee, I would have rather had a phone call than to excitedly get dress up, driven to a nice restaurant and get dumped. There you are, surprised, embarrassed, and angry. Now you can't finish your dinner, you have to call a taxi, and you cannot hit with your purse in public, or everyone will know you are the couple breaking up.

That being said, I am a big fan of Paul Simon's song 50 ways to leave your lover. The best breakup I ever had was a message on my machine. I don't know about you, but, if my lover is over me, why drag it out. A long list of reasons, from you or your lover, only make matters worse, leaving one or both of you feeling hurt and inadequate.

The best way to end a long distance relationship is to end it. Don't tell them how wonderful they are, BUT. Tell the truth, that the distance has given you space to think, and you realize that it isn't going to work. And, this being the case, even if there was no distance, it wouldn't have worked out. Don't offer to be friends, if you don't love them enough to work it through, why in the world would they want to be friends?

Let it go. Be kind and firm. If you have items that need returning, mail them, or drop them off at a friend's house. Don't return any late night phone calls. Make it a clean break. Wish them the best, and move on.

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