by William Cobbs

Created on: May 30, 2009   Last Updated: June 01, 2009

RESPECT is to general and soft a word for the meaning that is essential for a wonderful life together of two persons.

But it is the best word we have in English for the generalization. Most marriages and relationships that falter or end up in divorce or separation have abandoned respect for one another. But there is more depth in the need and the absence of respect than the word connotes .

What are the usual bases for two persons getting together and formally deciding to spent the rest of their lives side-by-side?

In America, the first reason is physical attraction. That may mean liking the face and form of the person, and most often it also means a physical desire for the person.

In today's world, young people and some older people try out sex together and either decide to move further on in the relationship, or drop the relationship and go looking further on.

But lets assume that the sex is wonderful, but one or the other of the couple just after a very fine love session, and after an hour of cooling down, has the full idea in mind" GOD, ____ is lovely but ___is certainly DUMB!" or "I wish___was better educated!" "OR"I wish ___was Catholic Jewish Moslem Atheist etc!"

Any of those 'wishes" presages trouble ahead.

BUT! It is also possible that one or the other or BOTH of the couples may recognize these realistic faults and work with the partner to CURE the fault if any, and do it diplomatically. That would usually require that both persons have a sense of responsibility toward one -another that permits careful and diplomatic instruction...for BOTH parties! Much better than giving up when the sex gets a bit monotonous and saying," Well. old___. let's call it quits!"

There really do exist unwritten and unspoken laws and rules that make a happy. fruitful and long-lasting relationship.

It is never too late for injured and unhappy persons to find a mate that is perfect and compatible. The most difficult problem in bad marriages is that they sometimes have accumulated a bevy of children before the two find that life together is untenable, awful, impossible or simply boring. This fact may also lie in a dead sexual relationship which was the original glue that brought the two together.

One of the greatest evils in working out compatibility for couples is a reliance on religious tenets which usually ignore the necessity for love, insisting upon the formality of family, though the family may be only a farce in reality.

Too much psychological mumbo-jumbo can

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