Self Image and Fear
It has been said that we view life one of two ways, either out of fear or out of love. We must look at our personal self. Whether it is in a mirror or through the words of others, it will always be about what or who we are and how we perceive that image. Remember, at this point is it purely an analysis based on the opinions and past experiences of the one who is telling us how they perceive us.
Do we trust their judgment? Do we question our own? Do we react out of fear because we do not truly know who we are in the deep down regions of our heart?
Take your average person yes- you are correct, there are no average anythings- but math scores. I do, however, believe that there are only about twelve standard body types in the world and all others are built on the combinations of those twelve.
Think for a moment have you ever seen someone whom you know very well, even spoken outright to them, only to find out they were NOT that person? You were embarrassed, but it was an easily made mistake. They looked just like the person for whom you mistook them.
How many times have you been told that you remind someone of their Aunt or Uncle or cousin? You look just like my Uncle Jimmy, says a young woman to me on this particular day. I thanked her, and then asked, That was a nice thing to say, right? I was half kidding; the rest was more out of curiosity. This has happened to me many times!
I have been plagued for decades, not truly recognizing my virtues. It took a long hard look into the past with photos galore of me as a child to a young man, ad infinitum. For me to see that I was never as fat as I had always thought (and thus tried to cover up) and that I was never as lacking in good looks as I reckoned myself to be, was an epiphany. I am pleasant looking even in these more mature years. But the impact for me here is that I never truly recognized myself as being nice to look at until years later, while coming to grips with the fact it is not vain to understand a reality.
I am not sure I would have known what to do with my youthful good looks. I always felt I was too heavy. I wasn't. I always thought maybe I shouldn't do certain things, but I tried anyway. I did have enough adventure inside me that I was not limited from trying anything I wanted.
It was not until I ballooned into a weight that put me in the obese category when I was in my mid-thirties, that things I had thought were true before about my physical limitations, etc, became reality. I lived with it for about a year. Then something inside said I had learned the lesson and I was going to lose the weight. I did. I know that sounds simplistic, but it happened just that way.
The odd thing about it all is the self talk, which later I taught to many others. It was one of the best methods I found to help me. Now it was not as prescribed then, as it became. When I tell people about it now, there is actually a short, but effective formula that I use for relieving ones self of fear and correcting self image.
I would love to say that every time someone uses it that it magically transforms the individual into a walking work of art. But still we have to keep in mind that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and sometimes the only one beholding is you. Our opinion of self really counts!
So understanding the element of responding to the evaluation through fear or love is an important factor. In my life, I have learned to define love as: To honor and respect anything about my self, and thus others. The last part of that - others- is a natural consequence of caring for and about your self.
Once you get the hang of, say, looking into the mirror and telling the reflection, I love you while looking into the eyes of the recipient (you); things will begin to change. Try it. There will be strange results at first. Some find they can't even say the words out loud while looking at themselves. Others provoke emotions they had no idea were related to that phrase. Some find that they confirm what they have already believed to be true, (these individuals are rare).
The whole of this therapy, so to speak, is this: we have learned to down play or over play who we are in relation to societal and familial expectations. In this world of glamour and money and great rewards heaped on the beautiful people, we have not been taught to just accept who and what we are, just as we are. Sure there are things we need to take care of.
We all need to eat more wisely for our bodies to function in a healthier way, for instance. But the holistic approach to our own balance inside each of us is to understand that we are all unique. Although there may be similarities about us, there is no one, not a single person out there that has the exact genetic combination as you, and no one has your unique personality either.
We truly are one of a kind. Years ago I found an anonymous prose that I have made a dozen copies for myself (and to share) to remind me of who I am and how special the who really is in this life. I will share it with you now:
You are a Wonderful
Worthy and Lovable person,
Appreciate that about yourself.
No one has ever been
or will ever be quite like you.
You are an individual -
An original,
And all those things that make you
Uniquely you ~
Are deserving of
Love and Praise.
I love to read this over and over. It triggers something deep down that makes me happy that this is about me. I know it is, and I am glad to share it with you.
How we respond to any situation in life is still based on love or fear. I have seen it, so I share it for you r edification. I know it works and I want you to know it for your self and your wholeness.
Play with the concept, work with the principle, develop into that being you are already trying to be.